Alone

Chapter 3: The Visit

"Why... What are you doing here, Barba?" I ask as Amanda shuts the door behind him. Her expression just as supprized as mine.

"I wanted to see you, see how you're doing..." He trailed off looking at the floor. He couldn't stand to look at me. My right eye was almost swollen shut with a purple tenet to it. I whinced as I remembered how I got it.

Amanda must have saw me, because she walked over to me and said "Why don't you sit back down and rest, let's all go into the living room."

Once we were in the living room Barba looked even more uncomfortable.

"Um. Amanda, could you give me and Barba a few minutes to talk?" I asked timidly. But before Amanda could answer Barba cut in. "Are you sure you'll be okay with that? I mean don't do anything you're uncomfortable with, I can come back later..."

"I'm fine Barba. You didn't do this to me, and I'm not going to let this over take my life." I stated probably a little too strongly because a dead silence took over the room.

I look towards Amanda with a questioning look. "Um, ya, I'll go and get Frannie. Do you mind if she stays here too?"

I gave her a little smile. "You know I love that little cutie."

She smiled at me and headed for the door, grabbing her keys on the way out. "Call if you need me!" She said over her shoulder. "I will." I promised.

After Amanda left, I looked over to Barba.

"So..."
"I..."
We both started at the same time.

"You go first." I said.

He smiled a little. A cute little smile I've never seen on him before. It was nice.

"I came over to see how you are handling this. I know you just got home, but I had to make sure you has someone with you."

I'm not sure whether to be thankful for his consideration, or to be angry for his thought of my incapability to take care of myself. But I'm honestly too tired to care at this point.

"Um... Thanks, Barba."
"Please, we're friends, call me Rafael."

I smiled, though I'm not sure why. Maybe someone cares for me more than I think. I shake my head to myself. 'Stupid. Stupid. No one cares about you. You're alone. Always have, always will. You're not worthy of anyone's love. Just think about Elliot, you're worthless, so he left you.' I thought to myself.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Barba... I mean Rafael asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.

I looked up at him, realizing I had started crying again. 'Stupid, so stupid.' I thought to myself.

"It's nothing, it's just... I..." I trail off, trying to laugh to stop myself from crying. He's still looking at me with worried written all over his face.

"I just feel, so stupid. I feel like... Like everyone is trying to act like they care. Like Amanda, staying with me. You, coming here... Checking in on me. But I know you all have life's that don't evolve around me, not that I want that it's just..."

"It's hard to deal with. Feeling like your alone. Worthless. Like you don't deserve this. The care, love, and support all of us are trying to give you. You think it's all a lie." Rafael finished for me.

I felt the tears coming back for the thousandth time today.

"I just want to make sure you know that no matter what, I am here for you. Whenever you need me. I consider you a close friend, and I hate to see you go though this alone. Because you're not alone." Rafael said.

He stood up and walked over to the couch to sit next to me. When I didn't move he engulfed me in a lose hug, at first I didn't know how to react. But I felt safe in his strong arms, and he smelled like peppermint.

He held me as I silently cried and ruined his white shirt. For some odd reason, I believe him. I trust him. My eyes started to droop, and I felt sleep take over me.

.......

Amanda's POV:

I saw the Chinese dilevery man outside Olivia's amartment building. I went ahead and paid him for the food and me and Frannie continued up to her apartment.

When we got to Olivia's door I heard something... No, someone...

Frannie started to run, as well as I did, leaving the food in the hallway.

"NOOOO! STOP, DON'T HURT HER! GET OFF OF HER!" I could here Olivia screaming through the door.

I busted the door open with my shoulder and Frannie took off inside. As soon as I saw Barba trying to wake Olivia I tried to call Frannie off.

"Frannie, here!" I called two seconds too late. Frannie had already tackled Barba to the ground, pinning him down, waiting for my command.

"Frannie, here!" I called again, this time she came.

Forgetting about Barba I rushed to Olivia's side. "Are you ok, honey? You're safe, Amelia's safe. It's over. Its ok."

I held her as she cried herself back to sleep, but I heard her whisper "No, it's not ok, I'm alone..." And then she was asleep again. Poor girl, I'm not sure when the last time she slept was.

I gently laid her down and went to check on Barba. He was standing near the kitchen, watching us, and Frannie watching him.

"Frannie..." I warned the dog.

"Are you ok, Barba? I'm sorry, she's protective over everyone." I asked him quietly, hoping Olivia wouldn't wake up.

"I'm fine.. Is she... Is Liv okay?" He sounded worried.

"She'll be ok. We'll all help her through this. What... What did you talk to her about?" I asked out of curiosity.

He smiled gently. "I wanted to let her know she's not alone, but I believe it's going to take some time to get her to see that."

I nodded in agreement... 'So that's what she ment when she said she was alone...' I thought to myself.

"Tell her I'll stop by tomorrow around Lunch. If she's up for company." He said as he headed towards the door.

As he walked to the door, I saw the tears that glissend from the light on the side of his face.

As he shut the door I couldn't help but wonder why the sudden change in behavior. 'This isn't just affecting Olivia. It's going to change us all.' I thought.

I took a blanket and covered Olivia with it, I don't want to wake her to put her in bed.

I sat down in the chair next to the couch. Closed my eyes, trying to let sleep takeover...

'Damn it! I left the Chinese food in the hallway!'

......