Water under the bridge

Part 19: The getaway

Part 19: The getaway

Thursday - One month later

I have never been a patient woman in regards to waiting, especially when the answer I am waiting for can be a life changing one...
I haven't been feeling well lately, my energy level is low, I have headaches almost daily and I'm constantly feeling dizzy.
I have been hiding my symptoms from John, I don't want him to worry before I know for sure what is wrong with me.
At first I thought I was coming down with something like the flu, then I began to panic, thinking something more serious was wrong. So earlier today I went to my doctor to get my blood drawn, fearing the worst.
When I came back to my office it suddenly hit me.. I could hear his words so clearly from that special night, one month ago.. "I want us to have another baby...."
I have never moved so quickly down the corridors to get to the supply room, to get a pregnancy test.
So now here I sit in my office bathroom, waiting for that little stick to tell me what my future holds.

I have stayed true to my promise to Doc and cut all my ties to the ISA, even though Abe thinks that there is a connection to my plane crash and the information I gave them in Washington. He thinks that there is a mole in the ISA, just like the hunch I had when I was there. But I don't care. I know in my heart that if I stay out of this, nothing is going to happen to me or my family. There's absolutely no reason to go looking for trouble by involving myself anymore.
I must admit I was worried that I would feel like I was missing something in my life, some action, something dangerous but it turned out to be the best decision I ever made.
One thing I couldn't let go of though, was doing a background check on this doctor Mark guy. I just wanted to make sure Marlena was safe and that he wouldn't be a thread to her. It turns out his story is true, divorced with two kids. His former colleagues speak well of him and he is actually a great doctor. He is just an asshole who's pride got hurt when he didn't stand a chance with the beautiful Dr. Evans. I still don't trust him so I will keep an eye on him and I hope for his sake that he stays away from my wife.
Hmmm my wife.. I will never get tired of calling her that. We haven't talked about a date for the wedding yet, but for the last few weeks, I have been secretly planning without her, with the help from all of our children. I just hope she will find it as romantic and perfect as I do.

3 minutes can go by so quickly or so slowly...depending on what you're wanting for. My alarm tells me that the test is ready. I haven't even had time to wrap my head around the possibility that I might actually be pregnant and how I feel about that.
I really believed that we missed your chance at having another baby, so I don't even dare to hope for a positive result.
We always wanted to have more babies once we got back together years ago, and we certainly did all we could trying to convince, making love  every time we got the chance, not protecting ourselves, but I guess it wasn't meant to be.
Do I even dare to hope that by some miracle I might be pregnant?
I get up and go to the sink, taking a deep breath before I look down at the test.

I know Doc hasn't been feeling well, she is trying to hide it from me, but she forgets that I know her better than she knows herself. She might fool everybody else but not me. It shows in just the smallest ways, the color of her skin, the look in her eyes, the way she carries herself. I know she has her reasons for not telling me so I'm not too concerned and I don't push her to tell me, even though I don't like to see her this way... She will come to me when she is ready.
I just hope that she is feeling better in two days, because that is when I plan on surprising her with a little getaway and a wedding.

My heart is beating so hard in my chest, it feels like it might burst out. I have to squeeze my eyes and open again to make sure that I'm not imagining this.... A baby!!!!!! I'm pregnant!!!!
The rational voice in my head tells me to calm down and wait for the blood test results before I get too excited, these home tests can show the wrong result. But the woman and mother in me tells me that it's true.
I almost run to my phone, to call John immediately and tell him. But then I stop... I don't want him to get all excited if the blood test shows a different result. But will I be able to keep this from him? He knows me so well, will he see right through me and know that I'm keeping something from him?
Time will tell...