State Of Grace

Chapter 11 - Fearless

Like most, it had been a long day at the Tuckers. And as much as she enjoyed spending time with them, Gracie needed to be alone for a while. So on Sunday morning, she asked her foster mothers for permission to go for a walk. Stella and Lilah had been hesitant to let her go out alone, but they reluctantly agreed as long as she promised not to go too far. She'd only planned to walk around the block, but when she saw a message on her phone with a request, she found herself standing at the top of the dunes that lead down to the beach.

"I understand if you're not interested in me that way anymore, but I need some kind of explanation. If you ever cared at all, please meet me by the lifeguard tower."

It was the first text Rachel had sent since yesterday, and even though Gracie was certain that ending things was best for Rachel, she still yearned for her. From the moment she spotted the long, flowing blonde hair, Gracie's whole body grew heavier like if she didn't reach Rachel soon, she'd collapse. With every step, it felt like the sand beneath her feet was trying to swallow her, but eventually, she was only a few feet away. Now that she was closer, she could see the lighter streaks in Rachel's hair glowing in the white morning sunlight. It was like she sensed Gracie's presence because as she was about to speak, she turned around.

"Gracie," her voice faltered.

"Hi," Gracie's voice quivered in response.

The golden flecks in Rachel's eyes reappeared, but this time, they were refracting through tears. At that moment Gracie knew that giving up on a relationship with Rachel wasn't going to work, for either of them. They were both in so much pain. So she decided to say whatever she could to be with Rachel again.

"I'm sorry," she spat out, "I shouldn't have said what I did and I shouldn't have ignored you all day, it was cruel and unfair and I don't know why I ever thought it would do either of us any good," she took Rachel's hands, "Please can we just forget all of that ever happened?" Both girls were crying now, enough tears to overflow the ocean in front of them.

Rachel took a breath and pursed her lips, "I can't," she dropped Gracie's hands. "I came here because I wanted to fix this, I thought you were ignoring me because of something I did. I thought it was my fault. But then I saw the picture."

Gracie's heart jumped. "No," her brain ran a thousand miles a minute.

"Ghosting me was one thing, but this? I thought I could trust you, I thought you and I had something good," Rachel started to raise her voice, "After everything my dad did, I took your side, I looked out for you, and you betrayed me."

"You can trust me, Rachel, it's not what you think, I was drunk and angry and confused about everything! He was just there, but it's you, Rachel! He's just some guy!" She pleaded, but Rachel was devastated.

"He was just there? You could have called me, I would have come running. I thought you knew that." Gracie tried to take Rachel's hand again but she pulled away, "Don't touch me, we're done," she turned and started running back up the dunes.

"Rachel, please!" She begged and tried to chase after her, but by the time Gracie reached the top of the dunes again, Rachel had sped off in a car with one of her friends.

And just like that, she was alone again. When she left the house, that's what she wanted, but her heart had been split right down the middle all over again, and this time it wasn't her choice. If she stayed by herself, she knew she'd do something stupid. She didn't want to go to one of her foster mothers for help again, it was only last night she'd shown them how strong she could be. But she needed to talk to someone and she wasn't ready to come out to them yet, maybe she never would be.

She pulled out her phone, called Danny, and asked him to meet her at the beach. She couldn't bring herself to go home yet, the others would ask too many questions if she walked through the door with puffy eyes.