IF WE HAD TODAY

THE TURNING POINT

I could hear my heart beating so loudly. I have no idea why. I think it was because I could see myself falling in too deep with you, and you don't even realize it. Your brokenness caught me off guard.

And now that you are about to throw your past away, a part of me wishes you would take a new chance at love with me. I know it's dangerous to assume, but I couldn't help it. I wanted to see you love me the way I thought I loved you. I wanted to help keep that smile on your face. I want to fight and then make up. I wanted to kiss you.

I wanted to kiss you so bad.

You opened the door for me. Chivalry is not dead. There are still guys like you who like to open doors for girls like me just because you are you.

I could almost feel everything moving in slow motion, I could almost hear music in my ears. You make me feel so alive and it scared me.

I have never met anyone who made me feel this way that it hurts to even think of it slipping away. I could feel my eyes welling up but I managed to keep it in.

I already love you right then and I wanted to fight it because it was too soon.

You gave me this charming smile of yours again and led me inside your unit.

It was nice. Very manly. It was obvious you liked the color black because almost every furniture that you had was black. Your leather sofa, your study table, your bed.

"I'll just go and get her stuff okay?" You told me.

I sat down your sofa and looked at you. Eyes almost pleading for you to kiss me then.

"Hey, you okay?" You asked me.

"Yes.." I managed to mumble.

You sat down beside me and asked me if I wanted water, I said yes in an instant. You walked towards your kitchen and came back with a glass of cold water. I've never seen you look like that before. Your shirt untucked, with 3 buttons upon, I could almost see your tiny chest hairs peeking out.

You handed me the glass of water and for some reason I grabbed you and kissed you.

Your tongue wandered mine and it wasn't long before our kisses turned hungry and we both wanted more. You bit my upper lip and I gave out a tiny yelp.

We stopped to catch our breaths and I pushed you a little bit, you placed your head in mine and breathed me in.

"I'm sorry.."

"Don't.."

You kissed me again, this time, slowly and more passionately. I let my guard down and let you explore me.

You led me to your bed, and you took your shirt off. You looked at me while you unbuttoned my shirt. I did not say anything because I did not want you to stop.

When you laid me down, you looked at me one more time, looking innocently at me and my semi nakedness. Right then, I felt conscious of how I looked. I've never been with a man who stares before doing it and that's what you did.

"What's wrong?" I asked you.

"Nothing, it's just that, we're moving too fast.. I don't want to push you."

"No, it's okay.."

"No. We should just take it slow. I don't want to ruin this.."

I understood what you meant. But I did not get out of bed, I just laid there, and you lay with me.

The night ended like that and I closed my eyes wishing that this wasn't a dream.