Hands (SuperBat)

5 Disgusting

Kal did indeed stay hidden for the first week.

Alfred was sure to leave a tray of food for their "mystery guest" three times a day. A note was left for him when he picked up the empty tray for the first time, that said: "Thank you".

Bruce made sure to visit Kal once a day. Even if they didn't say a word. He would just sit on the window sill of the bedroom or sit a chair away in the living room-like sitting area. He made sure not to get too close to him.

The next time he came to visit Kal, he found him reading a book on the bed. He was reading one of many books that were lined on the bookshelf.

Bruce came in and sat at the window.

Kal didn't seem to be reading the book. His attention seemed to be elsewhere.

Bruce observed him until, he finally looked up at his guest. "Hey, Kal. Do you need anything?"

Kal seemed surprised that he was there. "No."

Bruce wasn't sure what to do. He had given what Kal wanted, but Kal did not want to leave.

Kal didn't want his old life. He didn't want to be Superman. He had no desire to leave. He only talked when spoken to. It was like he had no life in him.

Bruce was worried. He was wondering why was Kal okay hiding like this? Doing nothing. Alone.

Maybe it was time to talk...

"Kal, I know you have been struggling after what Vandel has done to you, but I am here if you need me."

"I'm fine," Kal replied.

"He killed your family," he said. His parents, cousin and even his clone that he saw as a brother was dead.

Kal responded by looking away.

"He outted your secret identity, posing you as a liar." So far, the Daily Planet hasn't spoken another word about Superman after writing how much Kal "duped them".

"I know," Kal muttered.

"He sexually assaulted you."

An audible gulp was heard from Kal. He seemed surprised at first, but it turned into 'of course the best detective in the world would know.' "Okay... So what? He has ruined my life. What do you want me to do about it?"

What did Bruce want Kal to do? He sighed, "Not stay inside alone."

"You visit me."

Bruce sighed, "You have the rest of the league to confide in."

"And tell them what? I don't want to go outside? I don't want to go back out there where no one wants me?"

"I know there is more than just that."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Kal yelled.

Bruce stayed calm despite Kal's outburst. "There is more bothering you. You don't want your abilities? Why?"

"Why?!" Kal seemed annoyed at this point. "Because I can't!"

"And why's that?" Bruce asked.

"I shouldn't have them! If I can't help anyone, not even my family, then what's the point?" Kal's breath thickened. "I couldn't even protect myself. By not being Superman, no one would want to come after the ones I care about."

Bruce got up and took the few steps to reach Kal. He said, "It's okay to ask for help. Even you told me that."

"Don't touch me," Kal said.

Bruce didn't know that he was reaching for his shoulder for a supporting pat. "Sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry for," Kal said. "I'm just sorry for existing and causing more problems for everyone."

"Kal, don't say that..."

Kal wouldn't look up at him. He used to have so much confidence. He was bright like the sun that gave him strength. He had so much resilience. "Just... Just let me stay, please. I don't want to go outside. I don't want anyone to look at me and see what I used to be. I don't want them to see Clark Kent or Superman."

Exposed. Powerless. Shame. That was exactly what Vandel Savage succeeded to get from Kal.

"You know, if you do this, Vandel Savage wins," Bruce warned. "That was his goal." Of course, taking over the world was the main one, but he had to get through Superman first. "He wanted you to become like this."

Kal sighed, exhausted, "Yeah. Wasn't that obvious. It doesn't stop the nightmares. It doesn't stop the guilt. We defeated him. Wasn't that enough?" He was right about them defeating him, but what about himself?

He saved the world, so who was going to save him?

"Just..." Bruce said. "Let me help you. We all care about you. You are important to us."

"Then stop."

"What?" Bruce said puzzled.

"I don't want to be important," he said. "Just pretend as if I don't exist. Because if I didn't, no one would have to be hurt."

Bruce wasn't sure how to deal with this. He really wanted to find a way to help Kal. It felt like they were going in circles.

But how can you help someone that didn't want to be helped?

"Clark... Kal," he called to his dear friend. "Can you at least try to exist? The whole league misses you."

"They shouldn't," Kal said.

"And why is that?" Bruce needed to get how Kal felt. There had to be some evidence to figure out how to help him, whether he likes it or not.

Kal glanced over at Bruce's intense gaze. He squirmed on the spot uncomfortably. "I can't... It's..." He was stumbling over his words. "Disgusting."

"What's disgusting?"

"If they look at me, they will see the me that's disgusting. Clark Kent who is Superman, who can't save anyone. Who couldn't save himself."

Kal had a lot going on with him. There was a reason he wanted to separate himself from Clark and Superman. Everything from Vandel's attack on him and his livelihood, made him feel exposed, disgusted, and weak. He didn't want to go out or be seen for those reasons. He has lost confidence in himself. Bruce came to that conclusion.

Bruce said quietly, "You're not disgusting." He sat down on the bed beside him. "Is that why you don't like me touching you?" He remembered how Kal would give the best hugs to anyone who needed it.

"Yes and no," Kal said. "I actually don't want to be touched. He..." His hands gripped the book that was on his lap. "The hands that killed my family... They were all over me. I can't stop thinking about it."

"Right..." Bruce said. "Sorry." He remembered how Kal wouldn't bathe.

Wait, has he bathe recently?

Bruce scanned his eyes over Kal.

Greasy hair. Oily skin... Most likely no.

Bruce sighed, "I'm so sorry." He felt remorse towards Kal. He hadn't dealt with what he has, but Kal couldn't even do a simple thing as going outside or bathing.

"Yeah," Kal said. "Me too." He was beginning to close himself off again as his attention strayed away from Bruce. He didn't want to talk about it anymore, and Bruce didn't blame him.

He was done with the morbid conversation.