Hands (SuperBat)

14 Fair

"I think I want to go outside," Kal announced at the dining table to Damian and Bruce.

"Really?" Damian said surprised.

"Really," Kal replied. He seemed nervous but also trying to feel brave.

Bruce said, "Well, you tell me when you're ready, and I'll go with you."

Kal couldn't help but smile at the support. He knew that he was probably a hassle with his adverse to going outside. "How about after we are done eating?"

And that's what they did.

Bruce opened the side door before Kal.

Kal looked out at the morning sky. Clouds peppered the sky and hid the sun. The freshly cut grass blew, and the bushes whispered.

Kal took a deep breath in and out. He said, "Okay. I've been outside before. There is nothing to worry about."

"Right," Bruce nodded. "Nothing." He stepped outside before Kal.

Kal stepped outside after Bruce. He stopped as the door closed behind him. "Why..."

"Hm..."

"Why do I feel nothing but anxiety when I come out here?"

Bruce answered, "Well, everyone knows that you're Superman and-."

"Please stop," Kal interrupted. His jaw tensed. He closed his eyes tightly. "What is out there for me? I feel so... Exposed." His looked down at the grass melancholy.

"Okay," Bruce said encouraging him. "You are able to put words to how you feel. That's good."

"I really don't-," Kal stopped himself. "I hate this." His mind was racing. "They're all gone. What if everyone else-."

"Kal," Bruce called. "No one's going to take everyone else from you."

"What about you?" Kal looked at him with panicked eyes. "I don't want to lose you."

"Whoa, Kal. It's okay. I'm not going anywhere." Bruce tried to reach for him but stopped. "It's okay. How about we go back inside?"

Kal nodded.

Bruce opened the door for him, so Kal walked in before him. He closed the door. When he turned around, he found Kal near to tears. "Hey, Kal. It's okay."

"I hate this," Kal said with clenched teeth. "I could fly to a whole other solar system, but I can't leave a house. His fists clenched. He was ready to punch something.

Bruce stayed in place, not perturbed of his anger. "Well, you actually went outside, and that's something."

"I failed!" Kal yelled.

"Nobody's perfect," Bruce said. "We can try again next time."

"But I'm scared!" Kal yelled. He trembled as he said quietly, "I'm so scared that I'm going to get everyone killed." He was ready to shed tears at those thoughts spinning around in his head.

Bruce sighed, "It's just irrational thoughts due to trauma. We are all in danger whether you are involved or not. You just happened to have a villain who targeted you because he saw you as a threat. Not everyone sees you as a wall to get over. And-." He stopped himself when he saw Kal's expression turn from sad to angry.

"I'm tired of your fucking mouth," Kal growled. Kal's tone may have been low, but Bruce flinched at that regardless.

"Okay, maybe I am not appealing to your emotions," Bruce said. "Sorry, I got too..."

"Smartass?" Kal hissed. "Know-it-all? Annoying?" He was clearly hurting and frustrated, and he was taking it all out on the person closest to him: Bruce.

"Okay," Bruce said calmly. "You got me on that." He tried not to get the words Kal said under his skin. He never really took bad things he said to heart, but for some reason, it actually hurt.

"Yeah?" Kal said. "Or are you going to tell me what I'm feeling is not real? You are going to go logical and talk about how stupid I am for being afraid! You are always fucking self-centered and selfish!"

Bruce took a deep breath in and out, trying to calm himself. "I'm not going to call you stupid."

"But I am, right?"

"No," Bruce said. "You're just putting words in my mouth. You're not thinking straight. You're just overwhelmed."

"DON'T TELL ME HOW I FEEL!"

Bruce said, "But it's obvious. You just tried to go outside, and it's hurting you inside. You just don't know how to react."

Kal's breath wasn't steady as he was not calm. He was stuck between the emotions of sad and anger. "Why are you so fucking annoying?"

Bruce said, "Because I'm a 'smartass' and a 'know-it-all'." He shrugged. He was able to finally pretend Kal didn't just bad mouthed him to his face.

"No, you're not," Kal said quietly, regretting his words. Frustrated, he continued,"You were just trying to help. I shouldn't had said those things. I don't understand why I do that. Why am I like this?"

Bruce said matter-of-factly, "Well, there is a thing called trauma, and how it can skew your emotions when you're triggered. You triggered, you lash out." He shrugged.

Kal sighed, "That's not fair."

"Well," Bruce said. "We can help you get through this, and maybe-."

"It's not fair to you," Kal interrupted. "Words hurt, Bruce. Especially when it's from the one you love. I'm really sorry."

"I know you are," Bruce said. "I know not to take it to heart when you are triggered. It's okay."

"No, it's not okay," Kal said. "I should still take accountability."

"Okay." Bruce thought for a moment. Then he thought of an idea. "Give me a kiss on the forehead."

Kal's eyebrows went up. "That's it?"

"That's it," Bruce nodded. "That's what I want for you to take accountability. It's not about punishing you. It's about making things right." Whether he liked it or not, what Kal said hurt him. He could pretend that he was only a calculating and logical person, but he still had feelings.

"Okay," Kal nodded. He floated a few inches off the ground until his lips could reach Bruce's forehead. He placed his hand on Bruce's face. He watched as Bruce lowered his head a little. Kal gently placed his lips on to his forehead.

As he did, Bruce closed his eyes. His eyes squeezed as his breath trembled. His breath felt thick. He could feel his face go warm.

Kal lips let go of Bruce. He whispered, "I'm so sorry."

Tears slipped from Bruce's closed eyes. "I know."

"I didn't mean anything I said."

Bruce whispered, "I know." Tears rolled down his cheeks.

Kal leaned forward and gave him another kiss on the forehead. "You are a great person who is amazing. I love you."

Bruce nodded, because he knew if he opened his mouth, he might just bawl on the spot.

Kal gave him another kiss on the forehead and let his lips linger there. He desperately wanted to take back what he said. When he pulled back, he floated back down until his feet touched the ground.

Bruce said, "You could've only done it once. You didn't have to-." His voice choked in his throat.

"But I wanted to," Kal said. He wiped the tears that managed to fall down Bruce's face. "Sometimes, you don't have to be cold and calculating Batman, you know. You can... Feel."

Bruce nodded.

Kal asked, "How about we watch a movie. Both of us needs to wind down some." He looked down to the side. He still has some signs of anxiety.

"Yeah," Bruce said. "Let's do that."