He felt as though his nose was rapidly starting to lose it's circulation, and would soon fall out of his face and into the thin layer of snow below, all from the sheer fucking cold outside.
His breath came out in short little puffs, reminding him of the times when he and Hana would come outside during winter and make snow angels, before getting scolded by their parents and being forced to head back inside, sipping on some hot matcha as they read whatever new novel they were fixated on.
The memories are so incredibly painful, he can feel his chest constrict whenever any small detail reminds him of his sister, his family.
But still, those memories, as hurtful as they are, are the only things he carries from those days.
Hana...
Why did it have to be her?
Sometimes he wishes he could ignore the thought forever, but at the same time, he knows that by doing so, he'll be causing both himself and their parents pain.
It just hurts so unimaginably, it throbs, sometimes the pain is but a dull ache, and sometimes it's a sharp stab that threatens to break him down.
He stops in the middle of his walk as he thinks.
He's still only midway there, right beside his city's lake, if he went down the small grass patch between the lake itself and the sidewalk, he'd be able to clearly see the tiny crystals and the small layer of frost that has gathered on top of it at this time of the month.
Hana loved this lake, he was never a big fan of water, so he'd be content simply sitting by the grass patch as he made sure Hana didn't drown herself while she performed whatever crazy water related stunts she felt like trying at that time.
Before she got sick...
fuck, he can't stop the tears falling from his eyes, the fact that he'll never see her again, it's suffocating, despairing, she was so young, and she was so smart, why did she never have the chance to grow up like he did?
Before he can stop himself, he's crying again, silent wet tracks going from the corners of his eyes to his jaw.
Hana wouldn't want this.
She wouldn't want him to make himself miserable, to fight their parents, to ignore them.
He should be better- no, he will be better if not for himself then for his family.
He's so distracted that he can barely see the motorcycle approaching, but when he does, he startles and jumps out of the way.
But then, he stumbles backwards.
And soon enough he's tripping over the what's left of the little fence standing between him and the lake.
And then he falls.
He breaks through the thin layer of ice on top of the lake, the water is cold enough to chill his bones, and his nose burns, his lungs burn.
He has to get out, but he's so panicked he can barely open his eyes, and his own body seems to drag him down further into the icy depths.
Shit, he's running out of air, he's going to die, he'll fucking die.
This cold is unbearable, this is terrifying, he gasps for air but the only thing he gets is a mouthful of water.
He can't swim, that was Hana's thing, he always had a bad feeling around water, so he'd avoid it.
And now he'll die, right here in this lake, drowned in the middle of winter.
He doesn't have any energy left to struggle as he slowly stops moving his limbs around in a desperate attempt to reach the surface, his eyes are barely able to remain open.
And slowly, his panic fades into numbness, it's almost as if he were about to fall asleep, it's peaceful, in an eerie way.
He thinks of his parents, what will they think if he dies? Losing one child after the other, oh god...
He can't die...
...
He can't....
Leave them....
....
..
.
.
..
...
....
Nothing.
And then.
Something.
____________________________________
A.N (feel free to skip)
After a month of stalling I've finally grown some balls and decided to actually stick to writing this story.
Just one more chapter to go!
-at least for me, by the time this story gets released to you guys it'll already have the first three.
Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, lemme know if there's anything I can improve on!
(人*´∀｀)｡*ﾟ+ Buh-Bye!
YOU ARE READING
Cursed Reincarnation
Fantasyhopes of becoming an excellent man like His parents had named him Hideaki, written with the Kanji for "excellent" and "bright". When he was 8 years old, his little sister was born. She was so much brighter, livelier than anyone else, warmer than the...
