𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐄, daryl dixon

𝘹𝘹𝘹𝘷. 𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘵

CHAPTER THIRTY FIVE
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HOW MANY ROUND did we go for? five or maybe six, I lost count after three. Every muscle in my body ached after the adrenaline rush subsided. Anyone on the outside had a show to listen to, with how vocal I was it wouldn't surprise me if someone heard what was going on. And the fact that with every thrust the box would violently teeter back and forth creating an annoying squeaking sound.

Once we finished up I tossed my clothes back on, it would be pretty awkward if one of the guards walked in on us fully nude. I hardly had enough strength left to walk let alone dress. I bet it was amusing for him to watch me struggle just to get a shirt over my head. Having nothing other to do than wait, I snuggled into his embrace and waited out the freezing night.

"You went too hard," I mumbled into his shirt. My arms wrapped around his torso as I buried my face into the black cloth. He seemed to take pride in knowing he was the cause of my being unable to walk. No apology for destroying my insides, he just chuckled to himself. "It's not funny, I can barely stand," I uttered.

I felt gross. Sex wasn't anything like the porn advertised, all the models with endless amounts of libido that easily could go for hours without slowing down. They didn't say how to worn out and exhausted sex would be. My whole body was encased in a thin layer of sweat and other bodily fluids.

Luckily there wasn't much to clean up. He finished inside most of the time causing the white liquid to slowly ooze out. If we did get out of here, I doubt my legs would be able to make it to the fence. That wasn't something I had to think about right now. To calm my nerves I listened to his steady breaths and the rapid thumping of his heart.

"I saw the scars," I said in a hushed tone. "They looked painful." The lines drawn on his skin were sliced deep into his flesh. No animal could have made a mark like that, with such precise craftsmanship to make sure the "x" was perfectly symmetrical. "Mm." He murmured in his groggy voice, I must have awoken him from his sleep.

"What happened?" I asked curiously. "Don't wanna talk about it." He said. It seemed like a touchy subject to get into. Daryl shuffled around a bit on the uncomfortable boxcar floor trying to get a wink of sleep before morning. I was all on board with that idea, rest was the only thing that would heal my sore body.

I curled up next to him, hugging him tightly in my arms. Afraid if I were to let go he would disappear. The question I asked back at the campfire stuck with me throughout our journey, what were we? Friends with benefits, lovers, a couple? This type of thing was new to me.

Were we planning on having a child together as friends? That didn't seem right, if he were to be a father wouldn't that mean we had to love each other for the child's sake? It would be strange to have a mother and father who are just friends and nothing more. No romantic gestures, no hand holding, or any of that. Was that really how he wanted it?

My gaze wandered upwards to his closed eyes and relaxed expression. He looked so calm when he slept it was kinda cute. "I love you," I whispered, snuggling closer to his chest. I started to believe that the thing between us was love but maybe I was just overlooking things.

Even if he didn't reciprocate my feelings, even if he didn't feel the same I would still have feelings for him and that was that. Trying to understand how he felt was complicated, I wasn't going to force him into a relationship that he didn't want any part in. My heart would ache to be around someone that I knew I couldn't have.

He said he loved me, but that could have just been a white lie. What the hell were we? He didn't respond to my sappy words but it's not like I was expecting him to. As much as I wanted a response I knew it wouldn't be good if I forced an answer out of him.

If we made it out of this hell hole alive I will ask him. Without hesitation or questioning. I would ask him to be more than what we were. Who knows what was in store for tomorrow, this may be my last moment to ask him. But telling him now wouldn't change the outcome of this situation. My eyelids began to grow weak as I let out a long yawn.

At this rate, I wouldn't be able to stay awake much longer. It felt nice cuddling in his arms, kinda like hugging a giant teddy bear. My consciousness began to slip as my vision was consumed by the black void of my eyelids. As I settled in and allowed for my spirit to assent to the dream realm I heard a soft voice mutter something that could only have been the words, "I love you too."