Jennie
She released me, letting my legs go so that the weight of them dropped my feet back into the water. She sidled up next to me, leaning back against the edge of the pool, arms propped up behind her, only inches away from where I sat. But she looked out at the water as she spoke.
"I was always interested." she told me with a shrug.
"What? No, you weren't. Lisa, come on."
"I'm serious, Jennie. You're a beautiful woman. A fierce, intimidating and beautiful woman. I've never had the balls to tell you back in college. I guess I do now."
"But... but I never knew..."
"I know. It was selfish of me to marry you. It was never just about a green card, Jennie. Not for me. For one forty five minute session in a courthouse six years ago, I got to feel like the luckiest person in the world. I felt that again the moment you walked through my door this week. But you had your rules, your doubts, your penchant for separation and I gave you all the space that you needed, as much as it killed me to do so, because I knew that I couldn't possibly expect you to know what I was thinking, what I had been thinking for years, if I never actually told you myself. But I'm telling you now. You can decide what you want to do about it."
The way she was speaking to me, the way she was telling me these things, pouring out her heart to me, it wasn't cold but it wasn't emotional either. It was as if she'd been preparing this pitch for years, just like she prepared for all of her board meetings and memorandums. It was a speech she'd thought about considerably, rehearsed maybe, but that didn't make it any less true. She was putting her heart on the line, finally, after years of feeling something for me that she couldn't voice aloud. But I hadn't had the same preparation, I hadn't been rehearsing a speech. I hadn't even known this was coming.
I stared at her, shocked, opening my mouth to answer but words wouldn't come.
"This is why we're here." she said then, finally turning to face me. "To finally get it all out in the open. To figure out what this is between us once and for all. We've got a Homeland Security agent on our tail now, Jennie. If this is still the sham marriage it started out as, I'll play my part in whatever way you want me to. But if there's a shot at this becoming something real, well, I'd very much like to explore that with you while we get through this investigation together."
Still, I couldn't answer. I was utterly speechless.
"I know you'll need some time to think it over." she told me, lifting herself from the pool using her extraordinary muscles. She grabbed a towel and started patting herself dry. "I'll give you some space. If you need me, I'll be in my cabin."
Then she was gone. She simply grabbed her shirt and headed back inside the yacht. I sat at the pool for a moment, letting the water cool my toes, lost in thought. Then I rose and grabbed my cover up, mechanically going through the motions while I searched for some privacy to sort out my thoughts.
There were at least a dozen bedrooms on this ship. I picked the nearest one and slipped inside, breathing hard as my mind raced with all that I had just learned. Lisa actually liked me. And she had for years. How had I been so unaware? How had we seen our marriage so differently? This meant something to her and I'd treated it like it was nothing, like it didn't exist. That must have hurt her more than I can imagine.
Tears started to gather in the corner of my eyes and I flung myself onto the bed in frustration. I pulled my phone from my bag and held it up in the air. No service. But the yacht had Wi-Fi. I would have to make do. My video-calling wasn't working but Facebook Messenger was. I tapped Chahee's name and sent a desperate video call off to her. She answered a few minutes later, perplexed.
"Why are you Facebook calling me? Is it 2015 again?" She asked, with her brow furrowed in confusion. But then she saw my face and her joking vanished, her expression immediately becoming concerned. "Babe, what happened? Where are you?"
"I'm on a yacht." I told her. It was the only words I could get out, afraid I would cry if I talked about Lisa too soon.
"A yacht? What? Did she take you to the middle of the ocean to dump your body and play the tragic widower to the Feds?"
"That's what I said!" I exclaimed and smiled slightly at how similar mine and Chahee's minds were. "But... no. She took me out here to confess her feelings for me."
Her jaw dropped.
"What?" She squealed.
"Shh." I hushed her, poking my head out of the cabin and looking down the hall to see if there was any indication that Lisa had heard Chahee scream. But it was dark and empty, silent, so I slipped back inside and shut my door. "So a gorgeous, billionaire Thai hottie just professed her love for you and you're talking to me instead of riding her on the deck of her fabulous yacht because...?
"First of all, she never said that she loved me." I clarified, while blushing. "Secondly, believe me when I say the picture you're painting sounds fantastic but... this is Lisa, Chahee."
"And? Look, you guys haven't seen each other in years. You haven't even thought of her for years. Why not take this time to get to know her again? Mentally, emotionally, and yeah, maybe physically. I mean, why not. You're literally already married to her."
"But..."
"You're afraid that it won't work out and you'll lose a friend that you forgot you even had?"
"No, I'm..." I hesitated, unsure if I was quite ready to voice this aloud. But I had to. I needed to. And Chahee would understand. I knew she would. "What if it does work, Chahee? What if we fall in love and live happily ever after except that her life is here, in California, and mine is there, in New York? What then?"
"Your life in New York? By which you mean me, Jimin, and that shitty fourth season sitcom that you hate working on?"
"I may hate it but it's taken six long years just to get that gig, Chahee. I can't give up on my career."
"Um, hello. Television and movies are literally made in L.A."
"I'll lose all my connections at NBC. I'll..."
"Look, Jennie, I know that you aren't the sort of person to throw caution to the wind and throw yourself headfirst into something without a guaranteed outcome. And a career that isn't going how you hoped has made you jaded towards taking risks. But if there's anything deserving of you taking a risk, isn't it this thing with Lisa? Isn't that why you flew out there in the first place? It wasn't for the investigation. It was for her. Admit it."
I hesitated. She was right. I hated when she was right. I sighed.
"Okay, maybe, but..."
"No buts unless it's hers..." Chahee cut me off. "Babe, I've got to go. I have a class in ten. But please, do this for yourself. Have a bit of fun, take a vacation in California, maybe fall in love. You deserve it."
I smiled.
"Thanks Chahee." I told her and I genuinely meant it.
"And if you do end up riding her like the ponies in her stables, I demand to hear all about it." she replied and then hung up just as I burst into a fit of laughter.
Chahee was the closest friend that I'd ever had next to Lisa. She knew me better than I knew myself and she was always the one I turned to for advice. Because she was always able to point things out to me in a way that I couldn't ignore. And she was right. I cared about Lisa, still after all these years, and I was attracted to her, there was no denying that. I couldn't let my fears keep me from going after something that could be amazing.
So I stood from the bed, adjusting my bikini in the mirror, and took a deep breath. It looked like 'Operation Seduction' was still on for now. Though, it was an entirely different game I was playing this time. Still, I held my head high and wrenched open the door to the guest cabin, striding off down the hall in search of Lisa.
