Lisa
"Lisa, dear child." she said, while taking another step forward and sitting down in the arm chair across from my desk. She set her dish down on my desk and crossed her hands in her lap. "What happened?"
I looked at her and hesitated. There was so much we hadn't told her, and Jennie hadn't told her. I wasn't sure what was fair game and what wasn't anymore. But it felt like right now, in light of our most recent spat and with all the scotch currently blurring my brain, now it was the time for honesty. At least, about this.
"I told her that I'd been paying for Henry's medical bills." I replied. There was an intake of breath and Mrs. Kim closed her eyes.
"Oh dear." she muttered. I scoffed.
"That's one way to put it."
"Why did you tell her, my dear?"
"I wanted to be honest with her. Things were finally..." I paused, frustrated with my inability to string two thoughts together. I sighed and set the scotch down. "It was finally starting to feel like a real marriage. I don't believe in keeping secrets from my wife."
Mrs. Kim gave me a sad smile.
"Just one of the reasons why I adore you, my dear child." she said.
"But she left..." I finished, sitting back in my chair. "... like she always does."
"So, go get her."
I shook my head.
"I can't." I told her. "I've waited six years, Mrs. Kim. I've been as patient with her as I could. I've walked a line, keeping a balance between us for six years, giving her the space that she wanted, the freedom. But I can't be the only one in this. This relationship can't work, if it's one sided. As much as I love her..."
I froze, blinking. Had I really just said that? Had I really just said that I loved her? I looked down at the scotch but knew immediately that was not what had made me say it. Maybe it had loosened my lips, let me speak it out loud, but it was what I had known all along. I told myself that I'd only loved her as a friend for all these years, a friend that I was attracted to, that I was interested in exploring something beyond friendship with. But that wasn't true. I loved Jennie Kim the same way I had always loved Jennie Kim. It had only ever been love.
"As much as you love her..." Mrs. Kim repeated now, raising a brow and waving her head around as if to urge me to continue.
"I need to know if she loves me too." I said, coming to the realisation as I said it. "If this marriage is going to work, she cannot run away every time things get hard. And I cannot go chasing after her to bring her back."
Mrs. Kim watched me for a moment, with a frown on her lips, but then she nodded and stood.
"I understand." she told me. Then she turned and headed for the door.
"Mrs. Kim..." I called after her, reaching for the tin foil-covered dish and holding it up, "... your dish."
"Keep it." she said. "You need it more than I do tonight, dear child."
Then she was gone.
To say I was unpleasant at the office the next day would be the understatement of the century. Nate seemed to catch on more quickly than the others that the spat Jennie and I had in my office yesterday had turned into a full blown fight and spent the day steering people away from me in response. I let him. I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone and I was worried about what I might say to them if I did anyway.
I told no one that she had left again. I didn't want the pity or the heat it might bring onto the investigation. I just went about my day, tapping out curt responses to emails and snapping at anyone who dared to not do their jobs on that particular day. It wasn't right, my behaviour. I realised that around lunch time. But I couldn't get my head straight, so I informed Trudy that I would be taking the rest of the day to work from home and I left the building, hoping that everyone else would have a better day without me.
I called Kevin to pick me up and said nothing to him the whole way home. I passed Nan and Prija in the foyer without a word, locked myself in my office again and took phone call after phone call to catch up on the work that I'd been too distracted or busy to do when Jennie was here with me. I paid more attention to my tone, measured my voice so that I didn't snap at anyone anymore, and even sent an apology email or two, to the poor interns that I'd shouted at when they hadn't brought me the important paperwork which Rosé had sent them up with for me to sign off.
I ate the lasagne that Mrs. Kim had brought me the night before and luckily for me, either Nan or Prija had the presence of mind to refrigerate it. I flipped through paperwork, researched more entertainment law attorneys, reviewed Rosé's request to add a team member to the accounting department, and had an overall productive afternoon.
That is, until I went to get the mail.
