Ackerman's Destiny

11

  The expedition for the rest of the days were absolutely quiet. Your mind was clouded, and you and Levi hadn't interacted with eachother at all after burying your friends.

You had reached back to your dorms, but you still hadn't uttered a word. Once you went to take a shower at late in the night, that's when it hit you.

Isabel and Farlan were dead.

  You felt yourself slowly crumbling, and you collapsed on your knees in the shower. You didn't feel a single thing, but you could hear your sobs echo in the empty stalls. Your hands shook and your shoulders fell up and down. Your head hurt at the sudden strain. The tears in your eyes flowed without stopping and you sobbed.

  You sobbed till you felt like passing out.

Sniffling one last time, you wiped your eyes and nose and left the stall with your towel. You dressed in your night dress and walked back to your dorm. But as soon as you reached your door, you didn't feel like falling asleep.

  And so, you walked around the quarters. Passing corridors through corridors you walked like a dead man without a thought in your mind.

Oh Isabel, Farlan.... I miss you so much...

  A cool Breeze hit you sharply, and you shuddered. You were inside a corridor with no windows, so where was the wind coming from? You looked around and your head turned up. You saw a door open wide, the door that led up to the terrace.

Curious, you walked up the stairs and peeked through the door.

  Your eyes laid on the figure of the remnants of your friend group. Levi sat on one of the pillars, his head raised up to look at the moon in the sky. You walked towards him, and he turned his head to look at you. For a small second, his startled and hopeful expression turned to disappointment, and he sighed.

"Hey", you whispered and took a seat beside him.

"Hey", a monotonous voice came back.

  Your greetings were followed with nothing but absolute silence. You didn't know what to talk about, not did you both want to talk to eachother at all, until Levi decide to break the silence.

"The night before your birthday, I fought with Isabel and Farlan. I told them to make some excuse so they don't have to come to the expedition, and I didn't listen to what they had to say. Later, they came here to find me and convinced me to let them come with me. They promised me that they'd stay safe, and that they wanted us to be together wherever we went. I agreed with what they had to say", Levi narrated his story.

  He let out a shaky breathe and looked down at his hands. "Y/N.... Why did I listen to them", the pain in his voice made you clench your dress.

"Why... Did I...", Levi clutched his pant and shook in place. He was filled with anger and sadness. "I should've just went with my gut feeling, fought with them and force them to stay here. Why did I have to go to kill Erwin??? If only I had stayed with them. If only I had prioritize them over this stupid mission. If only I had-"

"Levi-"

"-turned my horse back faster. If only-"

"Levi"

"-I told them to shut up when they-"

"Levi!"

"-said that stupid promise. If only I had-"

"LEVI", You screamed at the man and he looked at you with wide eyes, as though broken from a trance.

"Y/N... I fucked up. I fucked up horribly", Tears fell down from his eyes and he looked back down.

  You took a deep breath, thinking of a way to comfort him. But you had no idea popping up in your mind. So you leaned back onto your arms and looked up at the sky.

"I had an older brother, Dani. We trained together in the corps, we entered the Survey Corps together, we went to our first expedition together. Everyone knew how close Dani was with me, and we were known as the crazy duo with how easily we killed Titans. One expedition, we were suddenly swarmed by Titans. An entire flank with our friends were being eaten, and I had to help them"

  "Dani tried so hard to stop me. He begged me to stay because he didn't want to put me in danger. I just told him to get backup, and went ahead to save my friends. We were heading back to the walls at that time, so after I saved my friends and killing the Titans, I was with them till we reached the walls. Later when we got cleaned up, I started to search for Dani, I couldn't find him, so I asked everyone around for him."

  "Apparently, Dani was missing, and the Captain decided that he was eaten whole by a Titan. I informed him that I said him to get reinforcements, but the captain later said that where I told him to go was swarming with Titans. I had sent him to a suicide mission, and he died. Ofcourse I was shock, and a whole day later I found myself blaming myself. Dani literally told me to stay with him, he even begged me, Levi. He wouldn't have died if I hadn't left me. He would still be with us if I didn't send him away"

  "But after all of that, after beating myself up and almost killing myself, I understood that my fault wasn't evident anywhere. It was fate , just like everyone dies. It was bound to happen. He didn't know he was going to die, I didn't know there were Titans to where he was headed. Yes, I still regret not listening to him. But what am I supposed to do now???"

  You could feel tears falling down, but you still looked at Levi with puffy eyes. "I can do nothing, nothing at all, Levi. All i can do is move on, and remember all the beautiful memories I made with them. It's going to take time. But I'm here with you. We can go through this together. I miss them too", you could feel desperation in your voice.

Levi's lip quivered and he tried his best to hold in. "It's going to take some time", he broke out.

"It is"

"You'll stay right?"

  You looked at him, knowing that those three words meant many things.

He wanted you to stay right there with him at the moment.

He wanted you to be there as he would move on from their deaths.

He wanted you to stay alive so he didn't want to lose anyone more.

You smiled. "Forever and Always".