Ackerman's Destiny

44

A room.

Dark and depressing.

Silent and empty.

Cold and forgotten.

...A mess.

  Clothes scattered on the floor, forgotten and unseen. The stench of sweat and blood and dirt seeped through the walls. Papers thrown, sheets misplaced, trash uncleaned. Not a single streak of light blessed the small quarters. The curtains kept closed, the doors shut. The persistent knocking of different people ceased after a few day, the only living presence in the room unanswering.

  Their were no loud laughs, screams of joy, obnoxious jokes that would recieve an annoyed eye-roll. There were no late night talks, no random visits, no secret glances. There were no brief hugs, no love, no kisses. There were no presence following around, no chatter, no help. There was no cleanliness, no hygiene, no food. There was no water, no baths, no movement.

But there were tears.

There were tears and snot. There were screams and shouts. There were broken vases and scattered glass. There was blood on the walls and on clothes. There was sadness, and anger, and pain and grief and hate and frustration.

  A uniform was found in the early morning, sunlight forcing it's way through the thick material of the curtains. A sigh echoed through the walls, and a forceful push towards the bathroom started. The first bath in a week, something unbelievable for anyone. Crumbled body laid in the cold water of the tub, water that had been there for 3 days.

A quick wash, or what someone would consider lazily scraping off dried blood from their body. Hair combed, body dried and face shaved, strayed hair leaving it's unwanted placed. Uniform placed on neatly, boots clasped on and a final look in the mirror. Eyebags deeper than the walls went into the ground, sunken cheeks, pale skin.

A dead body husking a living soul.

That was how Levi would describe himself.

  Today was the day of the awarding ceremony, something about the Queen giving them medals of honor for getting their land back- or that's what Levi thought. He didn't sigh or groan as he looked at his broken state in the mirror, his body feeling unusually cold and empty. He turned, back straightening, composing himself as Humanity's Strongest once again.

  He left the room, quickly leaving his quarters so no one could see him and his distorted state. Climbing on to the carriage for high ranking officers, Levi suddenly realised how many soldiers they had truly lossed. Normally, the same carriage would be filled to the brim, pointless chatter bounded from wall to wall, bht here he was, sitting all alone.

Hange must've left already, he thought and looked out the window. They started moving, and the journey to Sina was finished in a blink of an eye. Perhaps it was the state Levi was in, or maybe the distance was just short, but he found himself walking towards the palace, finding his remaining members there.

  A wave of guilt washed over Levi as he saw the same emotionless faces he saw on himself on his squad. The only thing that still gave them hope was their friends that were still alive. Eren stood with Armin and Mikasa, Jean stood with Sasha and Connie, all huddled together close to each other. Hange settled quietly on a bench, not too far away from them, and their eyes met his. He noticed the brief flash of emotion in their eyes until it washed away.

"Not usual for you to be late, huh?" Hange lightly joked as they got up from their seat, coming to Levi's side so they could walk together. Levi didn't reply, just a little hum and he led the way.

  Normally, it would be Erwin leading him and him silently following. Or their would be annoying conversations going on between you and Hange, or some little bullying he had to experience from the both of you to which Erwin would laugh. Now, their was only an uneasy tension hanging around in the air. Confused emotions of grief and relief present, none of the soldiers uttered a word.