Restraint
I rested my back against the chair. Ipinahinga ko sa bawat balikat ng upuan ang aking mga kamay.
"Tell me more about the condition," I demanded.
"We can file a divorce anytime you want," aniya.
Anytime I want?
"Paano kung pag hindi ko na suot, diyan mo na maisipang ipademolish?"
"Then if you don't trust me you can... wear my surname again."
Ano 'yon? Magdidivorce tapos magpapakasal ulit? Nahihibang na ba kaming dalawa?
"Paulit ulit?" my brow arched.
"Then don't file a divorce yet?" he suggested.
Why do I feel like this is a fucking scam? Am I this delusional to think that... he's still inlove with me?
"Baka pag nagtagal makalimutan ko na 'yang divorce lalo na't busy ako sa trabaho," sabi ko.
"I'm busy too..." he said in a low tone.
God. There's really something about his low voice that makes my stomach churned. It was his asset. Parang dagat na nang-aakit ang malalim na hagod ng kanyang tinig at lulunurin ka sa kanya. Perhaps this is why the girls who fell in love with him couldn't save themselves from drowning because no one could get out of his depth.
Lalo na't simula ata noong nahulog ako, hindi na ako nakaahon. Lubog na lubog.
Lola's words echoed on my mind. A teenage mistake. Ang bata pa nga namin noon. At marami na ring nagbago.
I wonder if Draven is open to talk about what happened from the past? O baka kaya desidido siyang kunin ang lupa dahil sa galit niya sa pamilya namin, at gagamitin iyong alas para ipademolish ang hotel.
Kung ako ba sa posisyon niya, ipinakulong ng pamilya niya ang kapatid kong walang kasalanan para lamang pagtakpan ang baho ng kanilang pamilya, hindi rin ba ako magagalit? Of course I'll get mad. Kakamuhian ko sila dahil sinira nila ang buhay namin.
"I'll think about it," halos putulin ko nalang ang pag-uusap dahil sa mga naiisip ko.
He nodded silently. Akala ko tatayo na siya, aalis na ngunit nanatili siya roon, tahimik na nakaupo at parang walang balak umalis.
Hinayaan ko siya roon kahit napapasulyap ako sa kanya minsan. The muscles of his biceps looked visible because of the thin fabric of his shirt. His shoulder became broad too. At halatang nagg-gym siya. Maybe it's because of his work. He's an engineer. Maraming pwedeng gawin sa site.
Ang layo layo niya na kumpara sa dati niyang katawan at itsura. He's just a plain boy. Well he got an athletic body because he's a soccer player but he looked more manly compared to his old self.
His features became sharp too. Mula sa hagod ng kanyang tingin, sa matangos na ilong, sa nipis na labi, at sa kanyang panga. He looked intense—not so dark but mysterious.
He rested his hand on my table and watched me silently as I stamped my approval on the last page of the document and close the folder.
