30 Days Too Late

Inside Voice

Dexter

I sniff Rue's hair; it still smells like his strawberry shampoo. I trace my hand down his cheek, feeling his warm skin. He's so peaceful as he sleeps, something I wish for myself. I nuzzle my nose with his, feeling the softness. He readjusts, trying to position himself under my chin. I detach myself from him and replace my body with a pillow.

I glance at the clock before standing. It's 2 PM. I close the blinds a bit more, blocking out the light peeking through. It's been two days, and I've avoided sunlight and sleep. Luckily, it's been cloudy this weekend, and it's going to rain soon.

I enter the bathroom and hesitate to turn on the light, knowing I probably look horrible. I turn the handle and watch the hot bathwater pour out. I hold my head in my elbow as I start to cough. Fluid tickles my throat, and I rush to the toilet, emptying my stomach into it. It's very painful.

I pant loudly, trying to calm myself, but more comes up, and I hold my chest. I whimper as I can't get my chest to stop stinging. Arms wrap around my stomach, and I instantly recognize the barbed wire tattoo. He lays his front on my back and rests his head on my shoulder.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

"I am now," I reply. He kisses my cheek down to my nape; his lips feel nice.

"I'm sorry I woke you up," I say quietly.

"I don't care," he stands.

"Can you tell me what's in the toilet?" I ask.

"Phlegm, but mostly blood," he says, flushing it away. I stand up and hunch over the sink.

"Come here," Rue says. He's shirtless. He holds my jaw and starts brushing my teeth. "Your eyes are red," he frowns. "Do you have something you want to tell me?" he moves closer.

"Have you been sleeping okay?" he asks. I mumble as he gently brushes my tongue.

"Open wider," he commands. He brushes my back teeth, then the top row. "I've always loved brushing your teeth," he says, rubbing my back.

"Why?" I ask before rinsing my mouth.

"Because you're like a puppy," he huffs. "Now, back to business," he says, dropping his pants.

"Business?" I ask, dropping my pants as well.

He sinks into the hot water, moving the bubbles around. I step in, and Rudy pats his lap under the water. I straddle his lap as he pours shampoo into his hand.

"Why have you been watching me sleep?" he asks.

"I haven't," I say.

"Don't lie to me," he says, massaging my head. "You haven't been sleeping, and I know that because you haven't been nuzzling into my neck. You always nuzzle into my neck since our first sleepover," he says, sounding sad. "I even stayed up one night. You were just staring at the moonlight through the window," he adds.

"I just want to spend as much time with you as possible because I love you," I say, gripping his arm.

"You're hurting yourself more by doing that. I know you love me, but we spend time together just by sleeping," he says, rubbing my cheek with the towel.

"I spend more time with you by staying awake. It makes me happy when you wake up with a smile, and then you kiss me," I admit.

"That's cute, but you're not off the hook," he says, his hands traveling up my chest. He pinches my right nipple, making me shiver. "While I go to the team dinner tonight, I want you to nap," he says with a huff.

"I need you to be next to me," I shake my head.

"You're able to sleep on your own. You did it standing up," he says, referring to the time at the market.