30 Days Too Late

Love + War

Rudy

I'm up against the heater again, with Dexter's back pressed against mine. It's not very comfortable.

"Dex," I mumble. He has me locked in a tight hug as he sleeps. I grip his hoodie with both hands and nuzzle my head into his chest. I breathe in his flowery scent—he smells so good. I lift his hoodie a little to see the thin tube. It's a good way to keep it secure as he sleeps.

"Rue," he pulls my head back by my hair. "Did you sleep okay?" he asks.

"Yes," I answer. I trace the tube from his nose to around his ear.

"Look at me," his grip tightens. My eyes travel up to meet his.

"How do I look?" he asks.

"You look better," I say. His eyes have a bit more life in them, not as soulless as yesterday, and some of the redness is gone too. He pecks my lips three times, and I smile.

"Your cheeks are pink," he says, pecking them too. He sits up, and I rub my face. I feel loved; it feels good to connect intimately like this.

He brings his medication forward and starts taking out specific ones for today. I rest my head on his shoulder, watching. I rub his bandaged arm gently, it's not bleeding anymore.

"Are you in any pain?" I ask.

"I feel consistent and strong pain in my chest region. That's why there's a prescribed pain pill mixed in with my daily," he answers.

"Describe it to me," I request.

"Picture a cement block being shoved consistently into your chest," he glances at me.

I rub my chest just thinking about it. "I'm sorry, Dex. I wish I could take some of your pain," I touch his arm. "From here too," I slide my palm over his forehead. His skin is hot today; could it be the fever? Or maybe it's my body heat as well.

"I did it because everything piled up at once. I needed fresh air that my lungs couldn't provide," he glances at his arm.

"Dex," I turn his face to mine. "A lot's been going on at home lately. It's been hard... I tried to communicate to my family, but it didn't turn out right," he avoids my eyes.

"Tell me," I rub his cheek with my thumb.

"I reminded them that I'm human, and then things escalated. My heart started racing. They were pitying me, which made me angry, then..." he trails off.

"Your father?" I guess.

His next words are inaudible. I can't make out what he said. "What did he say?" I ask.

"I called myself horrible things, but I didn't expect him to agree in a way. He called me a defective robot. Those words hurt really bad," he sniffles.

"I-" I don't know what to say. Why would his father say something like that?

"It happened the first time too. Whenever it comes to my health, he tenses up like a deer," he adds.

"Fuck him," I say.

"What?" he looks at me.

"You stood up for yourself, and he's a coward, so fuck him," I state.

He chuckles, and I rub his head. "Fuck him," he agrees.

"I know you didn't get the response you wanted, but I'm proud of you, Dex," I say as he leans into me.

"Thank you, Rue," he nuzzles me.

He removes his cannula and readjusts himself. I'm about to ask what's wrong until he sneezes.

"Bless you," I say.