CHAPTER 8!
HLONELA
It has been a week since i broke up with Nathi and i haven't seen him since. I have been staying in this safe house with my daughter , my grandfather has been the only one coming to check on us. Just as i lay Nkosenye on the bed after he fell asleep , the door opens and my father walks in follwef by his brothers , mkhulu and Nathi walks in lastly carrying a child in pink in his arms.
Me : "Sanibonani." They all greet back lowly. I go to the kitchen and get them drinks. Nathi was not carrying the child anymore.
Me : "Can i make y'all something to eat?"
Nathi : "Can i talk to you please?"
Me : "Not now Nathi."
Mkhulu : "Baby Girl. Go talk to your husband then attend to us." I nod exhaling then lead the way to the other bedroom. I so wanna ask about the child he was carrying but i don't have that right anymore.
Nathi : "I need you to keep calm for this and again i am sorry for causing so much drama and problems in your life." I exhale cause i know whatever he has to say will break me.
Me : "Fine , talk." He exhales wiping his eyes.
Nathi : "We didn't lose our daughter , she's fine , she's alive."
Me : "Nathi. Why would you want to lie about something so painful? I still haven't gotten over my daughter's death and you wanna say that sh*t to me?!"
Nathi : "Baby , i wouldn't lie or play about something so bizarre babe! Come on , she's also mine so why would i play like that?!"
Me : "I don't know Nathi!! I saw my child with the bullet wounds , she took her last breath while in my arms! So don't you dare play like that! Don't make me hate you Nathi!" I scream crying.
Nathi : "Who do you think i was holding when I walked in here?!" He walls out and comes back shortly with the little girl. He tries to hand her over to me but i scream crying. My heart feels so painfult like it's being squeezed.
Nathi : "Mii , take her. I want you to see her!" I end up holding the child and she looks exactly like Nathi , almost like my Nkazimulo but something isn't there.
Me : "Nathi , i buried my own child. You were not there! You don't know anything , the pain and anguish i had to go through because i had lost my daughter right after losing her father! You don't know the pain i had to go through when i woke up each morning hoping to see my baby come knocking on my door to coke cuddle me. You don't know how hard it became to face each and everyday blaming myself for the death of our daughter and yours! You don't know how hard it was to live in fear that maybe Biyela will come and finish me off by killing Nkosenye who was the only thing that kept me alive. You don't know how hard it was to stop myself from killing myself and our son so we don't suffer. You don't know anything Nathi!!! So please don't bullsh*t me!" I was crying even hiccuping now. I place the child in his arms and go to the main bedroom where i find Nkosenye still sleeping. I cuddle my son and cry my heart out until I fell asleep.
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When I wake up later on , there's little noise in the room. I get out of bed and Nkosenye and the little girl are playing together. The little girl turns to look at me and smiles at me before she stands and walks to me. She stands infront of me and smiles
Girl : "you look like my mother in the picture." She says smiling innocently with her hands behind her back.
Me : "Really?"
Girl : "Yes. Mkhulu B , showed me a picture of my mother and you look like my mother. Are you my mommy?" She asks with tears welling up in her eyes. I swallow the lump on my throat.
Me : "I...I" Nathi walks in and his son runs to him. I sit on the bed and this little girl infront of me moves closer to me. She cups my face and kisses my nose innocently.
Girl : "Sorry i made you sad."
Me : "No , you didn't Okay?" She nods smiling a little. I pick her up and place her on my thighs.
Me : "Look , you also look like my daughter but I'm scared."
Girl : "Why? Because those bad men take me?"
Me : "Bad men?"
Girl : "Yes. Mkhulu B said the bad men take me from mama and he find me to take me to my mama."
Me : "Oh I'm sorry baby." I hug her , she wails suddenly holding her head and i don't know what to do. Nathi comes in again and takes her from me. He injects her with something then lays her on the bed , i stand over the bed watching this little girl.
Nathi : "This is our Nkazi babe. Believe me."
Me : "It's just hard to do so Nathi. I spent two years mourning you and our daughter so it's kinda hard. I was still coming to terms with the fact that you also weren't actually dead and now this?! It's too much for one person honestly." He pulls me to sit on his lap after he sat on the couch in the room.
Nathi : "I know. I know i can't do or say anything to make you feel better and my apologies won't help too but please accept my apology , forgive me."
Me : "I... I am scared Nathi. I don't want to get my hopes high , i can't even get excited that you and our daughter are back because what if it's all a big fat dream then what?! I'm seriously scared mina."
Nathi : "I understand babe. You not dreaming at all and we'll take it one step at a time okay?" I nod.
Me : "It's still over between us."
Nathi : "Whatever but just know that you mine. I will let you have this 'breakup' and respect you and your space but know that you will end up with me as your life partner unless i die for real this time."
Me : "Where is your son?"
Nathi : "Downstairs with his grandfathers." I nod and looo at him.
Me : "Are you Okay? How are you feeling?"
Nathi : "I'll be fine babe. I'm also relieved that our daughter is okay and i know we both eventually will be okay , i promise you." He kisses my shoulder and i lay my head on his as we hold each other silently.
