secrets of the bee

messages from my mother

Messages from my mother were never kind
No one will ever love you if your fat
Maybe you shouldn't eat that
Don't wear that skirt your asking to be assaulted
And my favorite
Your the reason your dad hits me
Your the reason we got divorced
You should never of called the cops on him it your fault
All things said to me at 8 years old
I could never understand why she wouldn't want me to call the cops when he was beating her
She would throw the phone at me when the cops were already on the line
And the cops were useless
The only thing my mother ever gave me was an eating disorder and ptsd
And I guess you can say I am thank full she gave me life
But in reality she also took my mental life away
Until I birthed a new reason for living and suddenly her messages just didn't mean anything at all any more
Isn't it funny the different kinds of mothers