Guy Germaine was going to lose his mind. He was dealing with the loss of his friend, the second he's lost in the span of two years. While he's grieving the loss of his friend, Allison was once again slipping from his grasp. But this time, with nothi...
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Do you know how hard it is to to get your best friend to notice you the way you notice them?
If you don't, let me explain the feeling to you.
So imagine a feeling of desperation, mixed with jealousy, a sprinkle of sadness and a ton of overthinking. You'll eventually begin to let your desperation get in the way. I mean, you've always loved them as your best friend, but never expected to be in love with them. Except now, you're forced to watch them have feelings for someone that's not you. You want them to look at you at all times, or at least notice you. But they have become so caught up in other people, that they slowly forget about you.
Overall, it's just a gut wrenching feeling.
Now imagine a box, and imagine shoving the desperation, jealousy, sadness and overthinking into the box. Then imagine taking the box, taping it shut multiple times, taking it down to your basement and then shoving it away to try to forget about it.
But you can't forget about it. Because every time you see her, the feelings from the box come back, and the feelings are slowly coming out of the box, but they can't, because it would ruin everything.
I hope none of you guys relate, because it sucks.
It sucks that every time you look at them, they're talking about another person. You have to watch the other person get to be in the position you want to be in. You have to pretend that you're not in love with them. And you have to remain nice and happy for them.
Now matter how much it hurts you.
{}~{}~{}~{}
Allison Moreau was the only person I let comfort me for nearly two years.
I knew I should have let the others in, but they just didn't understand what it was like. Allison knew, she knew what it was like to lose the closest person to you. She knew what it was like to lose someone who was like your brother.
Currently, Allison was comforting me, as I was unashamedly crying, even though it had been two years.
"It hurts," I sobbed. "It still hurts."
"I know," Allison said softly. "I know it does."
"I'm sorry. You didn't cry on me this much when Peter died." I cried.
Allison hugged me tighter, rubbing my back. "I don't care. I'm just glad that you're not crying alone."
I sniffled, trying to pull myself together, but as I scanned my room, my eyes came across a picture of me and Jesse, I broke again.
As I cried, I couldn't help but let my thoughts take over.
Gosh, how pathetic could you be, Germaine? Sitting here crying like a baby on Allison's shoulder. What a man I was.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so fucking-" I couldn't get anymore words out, everything being completely wrecked by my broken sobs.
"Don't be sorry. There's no reason to be sorry. I understand, Guy. I understand completely. You're okay. I've got you. I've got you."
I clung to Allison as she hugged me tightly. I clenched my eyes shut, trying as hard as I could to shove Jesse to the back of my mind.
{}~{}~{}~{}
Allison Moreau left the next morning.
I barely remember her shaking me awake to tell me, but I was pretty tired, so I don't remember much of it. This time, I woke up to obnoxious laughter and mocking tones.
"Look at him, Marcel, precious little Guy sleeping so soundly, hugging that pillow like it's a person."
"Probably thinking that pillow's Allison."
Something prodded at my cheek a few times, and I let out a tired whine, swatting it away. I blearily opened my eyes and saw Carlo and Marcel standing over me with teasing grins on their faces.
"Get out!" I mumbled.
Carlo let out a laugh as he gave me a taunting smirk. "Oh, I'm sorry, did we wake you up from your fantasizing?"
"I was not fantasizing." I snapped as best as I could through my sleepy state.
"Right," Carlo nodded mockingly. "I bet you were hugging Allison, and then she left, so you turned to the pillow because you're hopelessly in love with her."
"Go. Away." I ground out.
"Oh, Carlo, you hit a nerve!" Marcel sang.
I sat up harshly, glaring at them. "Get out!"
They laughed again, but listened as they walked towards the door.
"There's no need to get so upset, Guy." Carlo called at me, stopping to look at me. "We only call it like we see it."
I jumped off my bed, shoving him out. It was pretty hard to push him out since he was almost eighteen and stronger than I was.
"I can't wait til you go back to school." I growled, slamming my door in his face.
I threw myself back into my bed, completely exhausted. Why couldn't they just leave me alone? Actually, why couldn't Carlo leave me alone? Marcel wasn't too bad. Sure he got a bit annoying and would follow Carlo's lead, but he knew when to leave me alone, whereas Carlo didn't. Well he did, but he just chose not to because he was a complete asshole.
I could have just gotten up, but I was still in a bad mood from last night, and Carlo just put me into an even worse one. I clenched my eyes shut, feeling completely overwhelmed now.
Would it make me pathetic if I cried again? Probably.
I buried my head into my pillow, letting a few tears fall.
"Get yourself together, Guy." I mumbled to myself, my breathing shallow. "Stop being such a little bitch."
I shoved my face deeper into my pillow, huffing into it. I didn't want to cry every time I felt upset, I've never done it before. But after Jesse died...it was like a part of me broke.
I turned to lay on my back, and focused on the ceiling. I laid there until my eyes hurt from staying open. I closed them again, and was able to fall into a piece filled sleep.
