It was a shitty move, but Rina felt compelled to do it to be able to move on.
"Bes, inunfollow ko na si Lianna." Louise, Rina and Lianna's good friend were unfazed as she switched her gaze from her phone to her best friend.
"Alam ko," Louise mumbled nonchalantly.
"Pa'no mo nalaman?"
"Paanong hindi ko malalaman, you've been in and out of her Instagram since two hours ago," Louise paused, showing a video of a restless Rina. "Girl, kahit ano namang gawin ni'yo sa isa't isa, support ko as long as masaya at tahimik kayo. Pero, you can't pull shit like this tapos iimbitahan mo sa bahay mo kapag birthday niya."
Rina was stunned. The truth hurt like an arrow.
"You can't be hot and cold with her, Rina. Mahal ka pa rin nung tao hanggang ngayon."
"Well, this is the start of something new. I want her to love someone na kaya siyang panindigan."
Flashback... (25 years ago)
"L! Come over to Louise's house. We're drinking!" Lianna's least favourite thing to do was drink. Even when she lived in the United Kingdom and the United States, drinking always felt like a chore because the "healing process" of getting her voice back to shape is as taxing as recovering from flu—but when Rina invites her over for whatever it is, she couldn't find it in herself to say no.
"Coming!" She texted back after gulping the Ginger tea in hand.
———
"Yayayan! Ayan na pala ang favourite kong kainuman!" Rina screamed as Lianna entered Louise's house.
Louise intervened, "Girl, lahat naman ata ng naaya mong uminom, favourite mo."
Rina cackled, taking another shot and pouring another. "Shot for me, Lianna. SHOT!" It was a shot that Lianna was willing to take—despite all inhibitions, with Rina, it's different.
"Ayon! Lakas." Rina giggled and poured another, her tipsiness must have been contagious because Louise came back to the bar counter finding the two women locking lips. Fearful that she was disrupting something intimate, Louise went back upstairs quietly.
"I've been dying to kiss you, Lian," It felt surreal, having to have locked lips with her dream girl, but Lianna was stunned all over. Her scepticism won the race of doubt. "Rina, you're just drunk."
"Drunk or not, your lips have been the death of me. God, Lian. The dreams I have of you..." Lianna shushed her by dominating Rina's lips once again.
That night was the start of something new. Something that would be embedded in both women's lives forever.
Present time...
"Iyay." A teary-eyed Lianna at the other end of the FaceTime call welcomed Louise. "Carmen."
Louise watched Lianna sob full-on, her weeping taking over the silence.
"I can't deal with this."
Louise winced, the negativity vexed her. "You can do this, Carmen. You have been dealing with this for decades. Kaya mo 'yan, kayang kaya mo 'yan."
"Bakit ang gulo na lang lagi? Tanggap ko naman na hindi niya ako pipiliin kahit kailan. Pero bakit urong sulong in our friendship?"
Louise nodded. "Honestly, ako rin naguguluhan. Wala akong kinakampihan sa inyo kasi mahal ko kayong dalawa, but I told her to pick a side and be happy with it."
"And?"
"And she was hurt—you know when I speak, I speak my truth—but ewan ko."
Lianna finally stopped sobbing, as if she'd come to terms with the situation. "How did we start from telling each other 'kaya mo 'yan, babe' to me and my lonesome asking, 'kaya pa ba, babe?'"
To be continued...
