Can someone tell me
What the hell is happening out there? For gods sake, the country is coming apart at the seams!
It's a goddamn uprising is what it is. It could be idk the words of what he said. Give me two hours, Mr. President! I'll organize a series of drone strikes against the key institution of this revolt.
No Mr. President these riots are not ideologically motivated, make no mistake. This is shopper mania and a fuck ton of it.
Now uhhh.. I know this may sound hard to believe.
But it seems that what these people are rioting over is a uhh a doll.
A doll? Bob are you serious? People are killing each other for a toy?
Yes Mr. President. This toy, it's called a uh tickle-me wiggly.
No, no. This can't be happening. We beat the whatever's now people are canniblizing over each other for some fucking weird little monster?
.. I mean I admit he is cute. And I'll come right out and say it, he has a fuzzy tummy. And I wouldn't mind tickling that little belly-well.. In fact, Morris, why don't you, uh- hand him here?
Why?
I need to understand what we're dealing with here and the only way I can do that.. Is if I hold him in my arms!
No, no, no, no, no Mr. President, uh I'm the secretary of defense. It's my job to protect the nation and you. I'll hold onto the little whippersnapper.
Like hell you will!
That is enough, enough, enough! OneofmypoliticalheroshasalwaysbeenJohnFKennedyhesavedthiscountryfromthecubanmissilecrisiskeepingacoolhead. That is what we need now fellas, coolheads 😄 so while you three devise a strategy, I'llholdontothewiggly😀
SHUT THE FUCK UP!
MORRIS, I AM THE GODDAMN PRESIDENT OF
THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA AND I ORDER YOU TO HAND ME THAT FUCKING DOLL!
NO! YOUR NOTHING MORE THEN A HARVARD
LAW
SCHOOL
COMMUNITY
ORGANIZING
PRICK!
TAKE ONE STEP CLOSER TO ME AND MY FRIENDY-WEND AND I'LL RIP YOUR FUCKING THROAT OUT WITH MY OWN TEETH!
He's not your friendy-wend he's mine! I'M GONNA TICKLE THAT DOLL...!
NO! HE'S MINE! BACK OF OR I WILL SEND A LAZER GUIDED BALLISTIC MISSILE TO YOUR HOUSE IN DENVER YOU'LL BE SCRAPPING OFF WHAT'S LEFT OF YOUR KIDS OFF THE FUCKIN' PAVEMENT!
MORRIS! GIVE ME THAT
COCK SUCKIN'
MOTHER FUCKIN'
COCK-A-DOODLE DOLL!!!!
YOU ARE READING
Mental Child Shit👍
Short StoryI have no idea what the fuck this is It's pretty much just me ranting about stupid shit
