Life as me

Chapter six - This

"Lilly!"

It was my Father.

"What- help with-. What?" I felt as if my brain was tied into a pretzel.

Then everything started to fade away. The man was slowly pulling away from me. I was floating into nowhere. He was going farther and farther away. What was happening? I was just about to-

My eyes opened. I just woke up. NO. I was going to find something out! For some reason this dream had meaning. I haven't EVER had a dream about my Father since he left me. I haven't even thought, or even given a DAMN about him. Not after he did what he did to me. I'm not afraid anymore. What makes me so sure that this dream has meaning? He used to ABUSE me. I mean, he once forced me to do all his work when I was only four. He made me figure out how to make my food. I ended up burning my whole arm on the cooker, and there is still a small mark on it. He didn't even bother to cool it. He let me cry and crawl on the floor. A few hours later my Mother came home and she found it was infected so I had to go to the hospital. He one time told me to go outside on my own and go to the neighbors' driveway and sit there. He was always drunk. I'm sorry I forgot to tell you earlier. But surely he wouldn't ask me for help? Where would he get the nerve to after all those years of hurting me? He didn't WANT me.

I was so indulged, that I didn't realize my Mother was in my room shouting at me to get up. I still can only manage to see what was happening through the narrow crack my eyelids are making. I put my feet into my slippers and rush past my Mother to the bathroom to get ready. I am still dizzy from getting up too quickly. My foot slips on the bathroom rug. I fall face first and hit my arm on the basin. I get that tingly feeling that we all hate in my elbow. Ughhh. Why am I such a butter-fingers? I am always so clumsy. Why was I born like this?