you're just as far in as you'll ever be out

I swear I'll work to make it better

I got a little carried away with this and it seems kind of rushed so I'm sorry! I had a bit of writer's block. I think next chapter I'm going to skip ahead a couple of weeks just to move the story along. Thanks again for all the comments! They really motivate me to write faster!

Halfway through the show, Alana felt her brave façade crumble. The medication was finally wearing off and all the traces of the person she used to be were going along with it. She dutifully attended every interview and photo shoot they had on schedule before the concert. Sure, she was quiet, but there was no fight about going.

Danielle had been watching her like a hawk all day. But Alana brushed it off. She didn't want to start anything, especially when she kind of felt like her old self.

Alana took a deep breath in as she turned her back to the crowd, fiddling with her loose guitar strap anxiously. The song was almost over. She could do it.

"Put it in me, Sydney!" Este shouted vulgarly into the microphone. Alana had never been happier due to her sister's lewdness. It gave her ample time to quickly set her guitar down and scamper off the stage without a goodbye.

Then, she remembered the encore. Two songs. Well, one a half songs and an extravagant drum finale. She began to pace.

"Hey, we're almost there," Danielle whispered encouragingly, taking Alana's forearms and squeezing them lightly. "You're good."

Alana merely shook her head. "No, I sucked," she whispered back. Este was dabbing sweat off her forehead with a towel.

"Nobody could tell," Danielle winked with a joking smile. "Look, you can do this. I know you can. You made it this far."

"I'm..." Alana trailed off, unable to think of an excuse in time. The stage lights dimmed again and Dash snuck by, waving his hands to the booming crowd.

Este took a step over and glanced at her sisters. "Alright, let's kill it."

Alana tried to pull her arms free but Danielle's grip was too tight.

"Can you stall for two minutes?" Danielle said to Este softly, her head tilting toward Alana when the youngest girl looked away. "Please."

"I do have some dirty jokes to try out," Este said after a pause. She patted Danielle's back and disappeared back on stage.

"Don't let me down," Danielle said to Alana softly, pulling her sister closer to her.

Alana felt like she had been punched in the stomach. "Don't guilt me."

"I'm not," Danielle lied with a slight smile. "C'mon, kiddo. Just two more songs. I don't even care if you play with your back to the crowd."

"O-okay," Alana conceded, burying her face into Danielle's shoulder. "Okay."

"I'll even sing your verse in The Wire. Sound good?"

That took some of the pressure off. "Good."

"Good," Danielle mimicked, ruffling Alana's hair. She took her sister's hand and squeezed it, trying to see if Alana would react.

She didn't.

Alana let Danielle pull her back out on stage just as Este was rambling on about her ex-boyfriend aka, Anal Boy. Alana grimaced but reached for her guitar, trying not to let the large crowd freak her out.

The relief washed over her when Danielle kept her promise and sang her part in The Wire. She could feel all eyes on her as she kept her head down, concentrating on making sure her chord changes were smooth and not falling behind Danielle's. A couple of the girls standing up front in her section began to whisper, like they were trying to decode what was wrong with her.