you're just as far in as you'll ever be out

a change is gonna come

sorry for the long wait! Hope you're all still with me here! :)

--

Despite it being really, really hot in Hawaii, Alana woke up in a cold sweat.

She immediately sat up in the unfamiliar room and gripped the blankets tight to her chest until her knuckles turned white. Even though they were in paradise, Alana could not let herself relax in the strange house Este rented. There were too many new noises to listen to and it seemed like the still quiet of the night was taunting her.

It was barely midnight and they had only been on vacation for two hours. After their first fight got cancelled, Alana thought it was a sign they shouldn't go. But, not wanting to disappoint her sisters, she soldiered on and kept her head down, as they grew tired waiting at the gate for nearly six hours.

The house was a three-bedroom bungalow that overlooked the beach with a large pool in the tree-filled backyard. It was like something out of a movie. No one would ever find them there but the uncertain feeling festered deep in her brain. The place was definitely hidden with trees and bushes but somehow, the protective nature almost made her feel worse. Something could be hiding.

The unfamiliarity was unsettling. It just made her want to go home. How was she supposed to survive four days here?

She threw the covers off her and slipped out of bed, turning on the bedside table lamp before turning her suitcase over and throwing clothes all around. She dumped the rest of the contents out in the middle of the floor and continued to sift through all of the items she over packed.

"Fuck," she cursed to herself when she realized she had most definitely forgotten her medication. It was still sitting on the dresser in Danielle's guestroom.

This was not how things were supposed to go. She was going to try her very best to make things right with her sisters. Their relationship had been so fractured since she left the band months ago and they were barely hanging on by a thread. This trip was supposed to bring them together again.

Alana groaned and pulled at the hair that fell in her face. She hugged her knees tight to her chest and tried to relax at the sound of the ocean waves crashing right outside the window.

It wasn't helping.

She kept taking long, deep breaths to settle but that too proved to be pointless. It only made her more jumpy since she suddenly felt like she couldn't breathe.

Alana sat against the wall and gently hit her head against it. How could she be so stupid? Danielle reminded her ten times about packing it. But all she did was roll her eyes and pretend like she didn't hear after the fifth reminder.

Calling her mother was an option but that would come with a lecture she wasn't in the mood to hear. She closed her eyes and tried thinking of a "happy place" that included an endless supply of Percy Pigs, various Drake songs played on loop, and a taco bar. It only made her hungry.

"These walls aren't soundproof you know."

Startled, Alana looked up to see Este lingering in the doorway. Her hair was sticking out all over the place as a light yawn escaped her lips. "Whatcha doing?"

Trying to remain calm and collected, Alana shrugged. "N-nothing."

"Mmhmm," Este said suspiciously, peering around at all the clothes strewn about the room. She kicked a bikini top out of her way and sat down across from Alana. "Nice to see you've unpacked."

Alana smiled a little and stared at the floor. "Just making myself at home."

Este continued to study her littlest sister. She could see the worry written all over her face. "You okay, boo?"