To Fall | Eric Coulter *DISCONTINUED*

19: Too Late to Wonder

Cries of happiness and longing surrounded me the moment I entered the pit.

Adults were everywhere. At every glance I make, it was all the same: loved ones hugging their teenagers. I look at them and think of what their childhood must be like; most likely a thousand times better than mine.

It was so odd seeing my friends' parents, how I could see the resemblance based on their features.

I don't know what my mom looked like in person, I don't recall a single memory of her. She must be out of this world. It's too late to wonder.

I wonder if we looked alike.

Alas, as to where I stood, I see those familiar gray locks in the distance. My breathing becomes more uneven with every step I take to approach him.

My breath hitched as he turned his way towards my direction, his dull eyes alive.

Nothing much of him has changed. It was a strange situation to see him in public. He acted so differently at home, and seeing him well-put together like this was a whole new perspective.

I carefully made my way towards him, his cold eyes never leaving mine. This was just like the choosing ceremony all over again.

He reached his hand out for me, I flinched. For a split second, I was genuinely certain that he was going to hit me. But he didn't.

Stiffly, in a low voice, he said, "you've made a tough choice."

I stared at the hand in front of me, he was asking for a hand shake. Never in a million years would I expect to touch his hand ever since. He returned his hand to his side when I refused to shake it.

He cleared his throat, sneering at me as he spoke his final words, "I hope you know what you're doing."

And with that, I stood there, watching him walk out of the room until he was nothing but an unoticable slim figure in the background. I stared as I wonder if that was the last time I would ever see of him, to encounter him, at least.

I blinked, it went too well than how I expected it to be. Turning to go back to the dormitory, I am met with the cold gaze of Eric's that I've been used to already. He was supervising the crowd in front of him with crossed arms. I broke our gaze as I passed by him, my arm lightly skimming against his.

Upon finishing my nightly routine, the other initiates were only about to enter the dormitory. I turn to my bed as I start to tuck myself in.

Looking up at the ceiling, I couldn't help but think of my childhood. It was so bizarre thinking how different I've been raised, and now that's what makes me such an outsider. And I couldn't decide whether if that meant either good or bad.

Everyone else also started tucking themselves in their own beds. My eyes somehow made its way to a few more beds ahead of me as I see that Olan was already fast asleep.

That boy, he doesn't love you. I can see it in his eyes, it's full of lust, I'm telling you.

What if Eric was right? Is this because I cannot feel anything towards Olan's "affections"? Maybe Eric is manipulating me, who knows. But why would he try to do that in the first place anyway?

"Night, Mel." I hear Christine mutter as she laid on her bed. I turn to her, muttering her a good night.

I always found peace in the rain, especially when you stayed in beside a fire. The fire was somewhat blurry to my eyes, I watch it crackle as the heat warmed my pale skin.

"Hot cocoa?"

I turn around, my vision blurring even more. I could only see the outline of a boy, I see hues of blues and yellows.

The figure approaches me, it seemed like they were reaching to me for something. I look down as a mug was placed on the boy's hands firmly, careful so it wouldn't spill nor drop.

Taking the beverage off his grip, I placed the warm mug on my lips, sipping as the scent of chocolate wafted pass my nostrils.

I nodded as my eyesight blurred a bit, saying, "it's good."

I decided to take a look around the room and I was somewhat disappointed at how minimal it was. There was not much anything interesting to look at. Except for the boy beside me. Who is this boy? Why did he take me here?

I look at the hot beverage as it warmed my hands. I carelessly sipped on it, not minding how it burned my tongue.

A sudden sharp pain struck right across my temple. Almost like a reflex, I dropped the mug as my hands immediately travelled its way to the right side of my face. I crouched down, moaning.

Gritting my teeth at the immense pain, I look at the boy before me as he looked back, a horrified look on his face. Before my eyesight fades more and more into a darker vignette, a larger figure approaches, hues of blue and yellows also present. Then everything went black.

I immediately woke at the sound of our morning call. I find myself gasping for air and sweating tremendously.

"Initiates," my head shot to the direction of the voice, almost cracking a bone. I watch in the distance as Tobias fixes himself.

When everyone was fully awake, Tobias starts, "Use your time for this morning and afternoon to warm up. We have something different planned tonight."

Mutters filled the room, "Also," Tobias continues, everyone listened. "Your rankings are now up, everyone below the red line must pack their bags now and meet me after lunch time."

I bit my lip as I started to sweat once more. The rankings came sooner than I thought it would, I wasn't ready for this.