Sponge Noir

Chapter 2 - Wednesday

The tossing and turning made the morning rough but it began as usual. It was raining so I grabbed my umbrella as my coffee brewed. While walking to the Krusty Krab, my umbrella kept the rain out of my coffee mug. I pondered about how to confidently tell Krabs that I wanted to take charge and solve this  case. I closed my umbrella and punched in 20 minutes late. I had given up on my 100 Percent on-time  percentage and was punching in even later than Squidward [22]. The storage room was still a mess. I walked to Krabs's office and was surprised to see he was actually working. I assumed he was too busy  with errands and forgot to tell me about the robbery so I played it cool. "I see you've switched to plain  buns. Are you worried about the spike in price?", I asked cheekily.
When he responded, I knew my sarcasm went straight over his head. “No lad some damn crooks robbed  me restaurant dry of seaweed seed buns. But what can you do when locking up and setting the alarm slips  your mind?”, he said while typing and staring at his laptop computer. “I swear I told you boy but maybe  that slipped me mind as well. I apologize for being flustered. I already had a full plate before the incident”.
“No worries boss. I hope everything is alright. Has forensics come yet?”.
“Not yet but don’t worry lad. I will let you know when they do”. He exclaimed with his eyes still glued to  the screen. “Also, I filed Sandy’s report with the others and will get back to you on which case you should  take. For now just continue doing customer service at your desk”. Krabs being a hot-headed Sargent  meant that it was always best to follow his orders without questioning him. I’ve never challenged him  thus far because I didn’t wanna set him off. But that’s when I decided to puff out my chest like the man I’ve  become and get bold [4]. “I gotta lay something on ya, Krabs Baby [14]”.     
“This better be good boy. I got work to do”.     
“I’d rather take on Sandy's incident right now as well as the Krusty Krab’s since they may be linked to the  same case”. I pulled out my pipe. “The case of the Missing Seaweed Seeds sir". I blew some bubbles. He  stopped typing, gave a sigh, and glared up at me with concern. Without saying anything, he puckered his  lips around a bubble soap cigar to gather his anxious thoughts.
Then he started demanding. “If you’re gonna take time out of your customer service duties, make yourself  useful in one of our neighboring cities that’s more crime-ridden than ours”. Bubbles spewed out of his  cigar clenched between his teeth. “That will give you the most leads since the perpetrators of your case  may, like most Bikini Bottom cases, come from outside our borders. If your work leads you back to Bikini  Bottom or the Chief tells you to investigate something here, contact me and I will personally handle any  investigations within our borders. I basically have the same authority as the Chief over officers here and  can task any number of them to help me out”.         
“Sounds good sir. My pants may no longer be square, and this sponge may no longer be Bob. But I will not  let you down” [15].        
“Also do not touch anything or mess with the storage room crime scene boy until forensics gets here. They  said to expect a delay because we’re not the only food joint to be hit up. Only touch something if it  absolutely needs to be used”.         
“Roger that”, I said as I stepped out of his office. Since my last bottle of bubble soap was empty and I  needed time to think about this case, I decided to take a nice long walk to the Barg'N-Mart. Before heading  out, I grabbed my umbrella and pulled out my badge from my desk drawer. I also grabbed my Glock 19  because, after Sandy’s incident, I figured I needed to play it safe and watch my back. Turning the safety off  and loading a round in the chamber had become habitual every time I put my gun in my holster. I opened  my umbrella as I stepped outside and headed to the store. The fresh air and rain droplets tapping my  umbrella cleared my mind. I finished blowing my last few bubbles while I tried wrapping my head around  this case. “Who would steal just the seaweed seeds and why?”, I muttered to myself. The blinking lights of  several police boats in the Barg'N-mart parking lot caught my attention. I felt uneasy like when I had to  see the doctor for my Suds [8]. I closed my umbrella, walked through the doors, and, to my dismay, there  was another God damn mess. The whole place smelled of all the spilled food and drinks that littered every  single aisle leaving very little left on the shelves. It was as if an earthquake hit Bikini Bottom but only the  places selling food were affected by the tremors.