Her Side of the World

Chapter 18

It is Saturday morning and Mariam had just picked me up from the AUB dorm to go to her village.

"is it a long drive?" I ask.

"One hour and a half. But it will be fun, don't worry."

I worry. Of course I worry. It's Mariam; her driving is nuts.

The ride, not too smooth, goes by quickly. Mariam talks with me almost all the time. We share childhood stories and she specifically focuses on those she has in the village, with her grandmother who has passed away a couple of years ago.

We tell each other stories that happen in different areas of the world, different cultures, different environments, different rules. But I cannot help but notice that the feelings are the same. The way she talks about her parents, how they loved her, cared for her, her relationship with her siblings; it all felt familiar.

The scenery close to Mariam's village is so nice, I keep looking at the valleys and mountains and appreciating the beauty. Every now and then I turn my face from the window to the left, to Mariam. I look at her as she drives silently knowing that she is trying not to interrupt my thoughts. Every few times that I turn, she turns back for a portion of a second and smiles, or shakes her head happily. And as hard as it is to admit it, I enjoy that scenery a little more.

We arrive. A big two story house, made of stone. Many windows and a big "garden" that looks more like a natural forest than an organized backyard. Mariam's parents have been here since the morning. We knock on the steel backdoor.

Reem opens the door.

"Oh Hello, Caleb." She turns her head away and screams: "Mom! Caleb's here with Mariam."

Mariam and I wait for a couple of seconds before stepping in.

"How have you been Caleb?" Reem asks me.

"Good, you?"

"Good. In fact, very good. We've been working all day on making-."

"Reem," Amar cuts her off. "We've had a long ride, I'm sure you will allow Caleb to rest calmly a little bit."

Reem nods and leaves. In my heart, I thank Amar. I did need Reem to stop.

Mariam leads the way to a cozy beige room, asks me to feel comfortable and to rest, and tells me she will be back in a while.

After I nap for about half an hour, someone knocks on my door. I open and am glad to see her face.

"Let's go."

I follow her with no questions asked.

It is already night outside. I put on the jacket I grabbed. Mariam warned me that summer nights in the village are chilly.

I go outside and find a few people sitting on chairs in the garden. A few tables around. There is a high table in the corner that includes chips and chocolate. Mariam introduces me to them. Some of them are friends, others are cousins. They all speak English, each with a varying level and accent. Sometimes, Mariam helps them convey their message. Other times, they use literal translation to an Arabic sentence and I am unable to understand what they mean unless they provide examples. But in general, the night goes by quickly. We have a lot of fun, we chat a lot, we laugh, and most importantly, I see Mariam in her most natural state. And it makes me happy.

They leave at around 2 am.

Mariam asks me if I enjoyed meeting them, and I tell her I really do. Then I help her rearranging the chairs and bringing the food in to the kitchen. She walks me to my room, tells me to call her if I need anything and no matter how late.

I get the feeling that I want to hug her goodnight, hug her for being a kind friend, for making me feel so welcome in a place so strange, for accepting my thoughts and critiques and discussing everything with me, but I remember that Mariam has different boundaries than I do. So I smile at her. And she smiles back. And I wish her a goodnight, with all my heart, I do.

The next morning Mariam wakes me up a little too early. She says time here is not to waste and the mornings are so pretty.

She is right. Again.

We sit with her family on the second story balcony which overlooks the mountain. We sip coffee and speak very little. Then Mariam's father asks us to get dressed with something comfortable and boots.

Mariam's father drives us to where they plant many of their produce. We are just in the right season for harvesting apples.

When we drive by the village's town to buy the groceries, every one passing by says hi. Everyone knows everyone. And they smile at me as if they know me too. As if they have known me since I was born.

In the afternoon, we make Lebanese BBQ and enjoy the sunset by sipping our afternoon tea.

During the night, we play some board games and go out to drink juices in a tiny place in the town, where again everyone knows everyone. And everyone has fun getting to know me.

I get sleepy very early on, due to the fact that I have barely slept the night before. So I excuse myself and go to the room where I instantly fall down and directly feel myself fade away.

In the middle of the night, I wake up thirsty and force myself out of the bed and into the kitchen. As I make my way back, I hear a sound coming from the living room. I pace slowly towards it. Not sure if this is what I should do. I am a little scared, but I remember Mariam talking about how safe it is here, and continue.

As I peek in, I find Mariam sitting next to the window, a book in her hand, her legs crossed up on the couch and a blanket covering her. She does not hear me coming in.

"Mariam." I whisper, trying not to scare her.

Mariam turns smoothly. Undisturbed, she smiles.

"Why are you awake?" I ask her.

"Couldn't sleep. Thought I'd read for a while. My library here is much bigger than that in Beirut."

"Yeah." I say, looking at the huge library of books in the living room.

"I love it here." I add.

She nods.

Mariam then turns to me and says: "You wouldn't last though. In a country like this. In a place like this."

I frown. "What are you talking about? This place is beautiful."

"This place is heartbreaking."

I know Mariam has more to say. So I wait.

"This place is a continuous heartbreak. Day after day. A beauty that is not cared for. A wealth that everyone wants to steal. A rebel that needs to be controlled. A heartbreak. Everyday, a heartbreak."