All For You

Chapter sixteen

        Clarke has now made herself at home in the valley, or at least has tried to.

It doesn't feel like home to her however, the only place that does is wherever Lexa and Madi are.

It's now been two months since the last she's shared any intimate moments with Lexa.

Madi visits her every other day and spends as much time with her as she can.

Lexa has now began helping Octavia make some decisions regarding the valley and how to move forward now.

They started having a team build more surrounding shelters from scratch.

Lexa hasn't had the courage to see Clarke despite her presence in the valley.

"Octavia, we cannot just rush into this. These type of things take time," Lexa explains as Octavia rambles pacing back at forth thinking about the structures that were in the process of being built. "But if we can't get this done before winter the process will take even more time. We need to recruit more people, there's people who have done nothing to help!"

"So it takes more time. Our people haven't known peace like this in what felt like forever, same as you. Yet you still are not satisfied with this process. We are moving in the right direction and that is enough." Lexa looks at her knowingly.

"I know you want a better living situation for them but for right now, they are alive and healthy." she adds seeing how much weight Octavia has put on her shoulders over this.

"You're right.. I do want better for them. I owe them that much." Octavia admits and Lexa nods. "And that much you will give them. I owe them too and you know that."

Lexa scans Octavia's face for any type of disagreement and finds none. They continue their conversation about the weeks plan before Lexa departs.

Madi had been at Clarkes hip all day, helping her put together some clothing to give out. Madi had actually taught Clarke how to sow a few years ago, they both enjoyed doing it.

"When are you coming home?" Madi asks and Clarkes eyes remain glued onto the shirt she was making. Her throat immediately becomes dry even though Madi asks this question often.

The past couple months she's been at war with herself due to Lexa's silence. She waits for Lexa to give in and remind Clarke that she's loved but every time she's seen her there's an emotional barrier between the two that Lexa had made.

"I don't know.. Have you finished your top?" Clarke asks and Madi sighs, "Almost.. Clarke do you think she would let me stay the night with you? I don't like going home without you. It feels wrong." Madi says and this causes Clarke to look up.

"I doubt it." Is all she says and Madi rolls her eyes. "If I had to chose, I'd chose you. At least you don't force me to-"

"Don't talk like that Madi, Lexa loves you so much. You're lucky." Clarke reminds her and Madi nods. "Loving has never come easy for her, she can be harsh yes but she always has the best of intentions. If things were different I would be there in a heartbeat, you know that right?" Clarke questions.

"I know. But Lexa is the reason you're not." Madi reminds her.

"I am the reason I'm not Madi. I hurt Lexa and you. I deserve this." she replies shaking her head.

"Well I don't. It's not fair for me to have two moms-" At this madi stops herself tears lining her eyes.

"We both love you so much please trust us, it is better this way... For now." Clarke assures, her eyes now teary as well. "Full disclosure, I do see you as my daughter Madi. Lexa does too, you know that." Clarke adds after a few seconds of silence.