7.9.20

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                                                                                      que sera, sera


i am a fool

to be dreaming

the way i do.

you have sparked

a type of hope

i have not held dear

in too long.

you are distracting me

from all the wrong

in this life.

when we speak,

i cannot help but believe:

all is good.


you unknowingly give me

constant reassurance.

i doubt

i will be able to doubt any more.

why must i doubt

when all you have been to me

is so so good?


do you think--

i cannot ask.

i don't want to rush in.

as much as i want to know

how this story ends,

 i do not.


so i pray the will of God

allows all that is meant to be, to be.

even if

what is meant to be is not 

what i hope and dream it will be.

surely you understand, my dear.

i of course, want whatever

this is to grow and last for our lifetime.


but what if it does not?

must i never move on?

must i stay brooding

and never admit:

it was lovely

while it lasted?

i am not that person.

so i think i will enjoy this

while it is mine.

because history will reveal:

i might lose this to disappointment,

or to my steadfast self.

prove me wrong please.


i do not want you to experience 

my coldness.

as far as i can see,

you are not deserving.

therefore, i will share

my warmth with you.


i want to take this

day by day.

yet,

i think so much of tomorrow.

but you do as well.

so long as,

i am not alone.


===


"'tis better to have

loved and lost

than never to have

loved at all."


- Alfred, Lord Tennyson

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