limerence || Peter Parker imagines

xiii. captivated habits²

prompt; Your love for Peter turns unhinged

warnings: mentions of violence, angst, bpd, self-harm (both mentioned and done), mentions of kidnapping (doesn't actually happen lol), manipulation done by reader

word count: 3.9k

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The way your mind worked, it scared you to some extend. You really had no idea why or how you thought the way you did. It wasn't like your parents were bad people, they were decent at their parenting skills. Unfortunately for them, you were raised in a different world, where whatever they told you not to do, you'd do the exact opposite of that.

In grade school, they'd have assemblies about mental health, how to not do drugs, really stressing those lessons you have to learn almost every year. It was a sickening thing you went through. You never paid any attention anyhow.

When it came to your mental stability, before you met Peter, you had a suspicion that something was wrong with you, but it wasn't well prominent until you met Peter.

He changed your life for the good, even if it was a one sided appreciation. That's when you knew, as soon as you started paying just a little more attention to detail, you were a goner. It didn't quite click with you why Peter made you obsessively insane. Were you even insane for loving someone such as him?

Now, things were different. Not drastically different, but he knew of your stalking habits. Thankfully, he had no idea of your other activities, which would scare him away forever. You didn't want that.

You had a plan, a completely diabolical, and potential jail time plan.

If Peter could ever forgive and forget about you stalking him, he had to learn to understand that the only way for you two to be together is to have friends who wouldn't get in the way of your love.

Michelle Jones was your everest. She was the reason why you and Peter had a delayed relationship development. Her and her observing personality ruined any potential friendship, soon to be lovers with him. You wanted her to understand just how upset you were with her big ass mouth. She's the quiet type, but when it comes to her friends and people watching, you knew if it was important, the girl would voice things she'd learn to her friends. You knew that's exactly what she did with Peter.

After your abrupt dismissal from lunch, you avoided Peter and his friends until your plan was well thought out. You had to make yourself the victim if it meant getting rid of Michelle.

Even if the trio didn't know you knew they were aware of you being a stalker, or as you like to tell yourself, making sure Peter is okay, you had made it your life's mission to weasel your way into the friendship. It may be an awkward, and probably not the smartest approach, but you were ruining out of options and you desperately needed Peter to see you as the good guy.

Your mother isn't the brightest of people, you had learned that a few years ago when you were going through this deep depression that had you addicted to self-harm. It took maybe a few weeks for her to learn about your dependency and she took you to rehab, even hid the knives or anything sharp after your time spent in the centre.

Obviously, you had relapsed, and found a loophole to continue with your addiction, but after many insufferable months of harming yourself, you had once again found yourself back in rehab, and this time you did not relapse. It was a miracle for your parents, but for extra precaution, they made sure to hide sharp objects from you very well, and kept an eye on you 24/7.