Starry glass

Chapter Nine Trellis

I was barely aware of myself. I could feel and see things but not process them. It felt like a hazy dream. More like a nightmare. I could feel everything. And It all hurts. Everybody was trying to hurt each other at some point in time. There was no one soul that was pure in heart. Everybody either hated each other or hated themself. I layed shivering trying to hold it in my head. I felt like I was going to burst eventually.

I knew that I would eventually break under the stress of it all. I felt All of the problems, worries and hurts of everybody. I could only feel the bad things. I could feel none of the good things that would hold me up if I would have felt them. But I only felt the bad things.

I made a raviging noise. I was slightly aware that I wanted to go back to the place where I didn't feel anything. I would rather be numb and non existent than feel all this. I howled a spiking pain growing on my head.

Someone had been killed. No not killed; murdered. I dragged my nails over my face, nearly drawing blood. But luckily I didn't have long nails. I felt even more sharp pains in my head. I could feel the life leaving many souls. I felt the agony of the one that had loved those souls. I cried in grief for the deaths of people I didn't know. I felt the same pain that a person That I had no knowledge of. I could feel everything.

Nothing made sense, everything made sense. What was going on? where I was Whilm. What is going to happen now? When would I leave? Where was the sky going? When would I die? why? where? when? How? I shivered, still feeling it all.

"Where is he? Who is he? when? where? what?" I shook, grabbing my head. I howled "Save them!" I screamed tears of one I did not know spilling into my eyes. I yelled in the same agony that they were going though I felt it all and more. I felt everything and I could not stop it no matter how hard I tried. I would never be able to fix it all. There would always be problems I would never be able to fix.

I screamed, still feeling their pain. I felt the most empathetic that I could be. I could literally feel what they were going though. I hissed yelling and screaming at imagery murders. I tried to tell everyone what happened. But I wasn't there. I was writhing In too much pain on the floor screaming bloody murder to nobody. I screamed and yelled and when someone touched my shoulder I yelled in anguish again and tried to bite it off. The hand left me immediately. I screamed and yelled horrors filling my mind.

Excruciating pain was running all through my body. I felt every stab, every scratch, everything. I curled up in a ball and tried to hide in myself. Unknown people wipered hollow comforts to me. I tried to listen to them but they struck a dull and forlorn mind.

"It's ok, you're fine." It whispered "No one is dying. You are fine. Nothing is wrong." I wanted to scream at how false those statements were. I felt so much that it was starting to become nothing. I felt like my mind was melting into a puddle of nothing. I felt numb. I could no longer feel everything but yet I could. Then I exploded tired of all of the fake reashences.

"NO! Nothing is fine, people are dying! I am not fine! Everything is wrong!" I collapsed further into myself. I felt the hollowed soothing leave me. I was glad. I didn't want false reassurances. I didn't necessarily want the truth either. Nothing was right but If someone said otherwise was it reassuring or lying? I felt like it was both and helped no one.

I started to feel everything again with those thoughts. then I was just swimming in pain and mutilated hurt. I stopped screaming as I had lost the voice for it. I was now just wheezing and trying to cope with everything that I could feel. the voice tried to return to me occasionally but I ignored it. I didn't have any more outbursts but I was still frustrated with it. I hated all of the falseness of it.