Not my story
Help me...
Bellamy...
Please...
Help me!
Bellamy sprints through the forest, trying to find the voice that's coming from everywhere and nowhere at once. He has to find her, he has to find her now. Something terrible will happen if he doesn't. He calls out to her, screams at the trees that separate him from her.
Bellamy!
Bellamy!
"Bellamy! Wake up!"
Bellamy sits upright with a shout, drenched in sweat and shaking from his nightmare. Octavia jumps back from the edge of the bed where she had been sitting just moments earlier trying to wake him. He doesn't even register her at first. He can still hear Clarke's screams echoing in his ears, just as fresh in his memory as they had been when the Grounders took her months ago. He vainly tries to clear his head by rubbing his hands over his face, but he knows the screams won't go away. They never do.
"You were having a nightmare?"
Bellamy just grunts in reply, levering himself out of bed and grabbing a shirt off of the floor. He begins to gather up the things he'll need for his next hunting expedition. A better canteen, one of his replacement knives, more tarp, a warmer coat. He'll grab some food before he heads out, but he packs light. Judging by the brightness of the sun he slept longer than he had intended to, and he needs to get back out there. Every second that he isn't in the forest looking for Clarke causes the screams to grow louder.
"It's good to see you back here, the camp's missed you over the last few weeks."
"Just back for resupply." He says, not wanting to waste energy that could be spent looking for Clarke on a conversation.
"Bell, you have to stop doing this. You need to acknowledge the fact that even if Clarke's not dead, we aren't going to find her. There's no trail to follow, and if she could escape from wherever they have her, she would have already." Octavia uses her most reasonable, calming voice on him, but the words have the opposite effect on him.
"Shut the fuck up." He growls, "You don't know that. You can't possibly know that. She's out there somewhere, and I will find her. It's my decision if I want to die looking for her. And don't call me "Bell" anymore. You're the one who said I wasn't your brother anymore."
"Fine then, Bellamy." She replies, a little bit of her temper flaring up, "But it's pointless for you to die looking for her. We need you here at camp. You're the best hunter we have, and you're the leader that everyone's waiting on."
"I'll be a leader again once I find her. And I'm not your best hunter. If I was, I would have found her by now." Bellamy drags his hands over his face again, feeling weariness down to his very core. His voice drops to a whisper as he repeats, "I would have found her."
"You really loved her, didn't you?" Octavia asks, placing a hesitant hand on his shoulder.
"I still love her." There's no use in denying it anymore. In the first few days, Bellamy convinced everyone including himself that they needed to find her just because Clarke was valuable to the camp. But after Jasper, Raven, Octavia, Monty, and Finn had given up hope on finding her, Bellamy still couldn't. He passed on all responsibilities of leading the camp to others, spending more and more time in the forest. As weeks turned into months, he knew it was more than wanting a valuable resource back, or even a friend. He loved his brave princess, and he had to get her back. It's the only thing driving him anymore.
Octavia surprisingly pulls him into a hug and whispers in his ear, "I never really wanted you to stop being my brother, you know. I was upset, and then you've been gone. Even when you're here, you're gone." She releases him and adds, "Go find her. Raven and I will run the camp while you're gone, like always. You can grab a better canteen from stores, we just got our trade in from Ark-camp last night."
