Drarry Drabbles

Lonely With Me

{Background: Everyone around Harry is happy and getting into relationships but he's not and he's getting angry. He feels vulnerable and unloved, and keeps disappearing late at night.}

Draco finds him outside late one night, curled up into a ball and crying.

"Potter? What's wrong?," he asked carefully, coming to sit next to him on the grass.

"Am I a bad person?," he asked with a sniffle.

"No, you're a good person. The best person if I'm being honest."

"Then why am I alone?"

"You're not alone, I'm right here Potter."

"But I am alone! Everyone else is in a relationship. Hermione and Ron. Hannah and Neville. Dean and Seamus. Blaise and Pansy. Luna and Ginny. And then there's me, destined to be alone," Harry spat bitterly, wrapping the blanket tighter around himself.

"You're not destined to be alone Potter."

"Aren't I though? I died, so I'm even more broken and unloveable now. I think people can tell you know? Everyone's been different after that. Everyone loves the Boy Who Lived, but no one fucking cares about Harry. They talk to me and realize that the picture that they painted of me looks better in their mind. I'm never going to find someone who loves me for me."

Draco was surprised that Harry couldn't hear his heart breaking, and he blinked back the tears in his eyes. Pulling Harry onto his lap, Draco hugged him tightly.

"Are you capable of love?," he asked Harry.

"I like to think so."

"Is there someone that you have feelings for?"

"Yes."

"Then why don't you tell them?," Draco asked in confusion, pushing away the stabbing feeling in his gut.

"Because they don't like me back."

"How do you know?"

"I just do," Harry replied stubbornly.

Draco snorted.

"You're an idiot sometimes Potter, you know that? Anyone would be honored if you had a crush on them. You're funny, incredibly bright, a good listener, you always speak your mind, and you love with everything that you have. You know what it's like to be on the bottom, and you go out of your way to make sure no one ever feels that way. You made sure that I didn't feel that way," Draco emphasized, "and you couldn't possibly know what that's done for me. Because of you, it feels like life is worth living again. So yes, I'm fairly confident this mystery person likes you back, because they'd be an idiot not to."

"I didn't know you saw me like that," Harry said quietly, turning around in Draco's lap so that he was essentially straddling him. "I didn't know you saw me."

"You're my former enemy, I've always seen you. Now you're my friend, and I see you even more."

"Friend," Harry said slowly, trailing off as he took his lip between his teeth, Draco's eyes unwittingly following the movement.

"I like to think so anyway. Correct me if I'm wrong."

"You really think that anyone I had a crush on would like me back and give me a chance?"

"I'm fairly confident in that, yes."

"Would you want to have dinner with me?," Harry asked, brushing some hair off of Draco's forehead.

The movement alerted Draco to how close they really were.

"That's an abrupt change in topic, but yes."

"It's not an abrupt change in topic. I'm asking you to have dinner with me."

"We always have dinner together?," Draco asked, tilted his head in confusion.

"I know you're not that dense Malfoy! How can you say all of those things if you clearly didn't mean them! I don't need your pity!"

Harry moved to get up, but Draco held him steadfast.

"What are you talking about? Of course I meant it! When have I ever said anything that I don't mean?"

"Then why don't you want to be with me?!," he yelled, voice breaking over the screamed words.

In that instance, multiple things had clicked into place for Draco.

"You wanted to have dinner... with me...," Draco said slowly.

"I did. Keyword being did because I'm not accepting a pity acceptance now. Let me go."

Draco's hands stayed tightly on Harry's hips, holding him into place. He couldn't help it, he laughed, but it was a sad and bitter laugh that made Harry stay.

"Out of everyone at Hogwarts, hell out of everyone in the world, you end up with a crush on the sad, broken, death eater. Fate truly is cruel to you Harry Potter, for saddling you with feelings like that towards me. For your sake, I hope they fade fast and that you don't spend years dwelling on them, wondering what you could have done differently. I see you Harry, I hear you, but I can't be with you, and you don't know how much that crushes me."

"Years?," was all he asked.

"Years," Draco confirmed, closing his eyes.

"Then why not now? It's just us," Harry pleaded, searching for something.

"The fact that it's us terrifies me. You deserve someone good Harry, and that's not me. You need someone who can take care of you, someone who has enough love to make you positively shine like you used to."

"Why can't that be you?"

"I don't have much of anything to give."

"That's not true," Harry argued. "You said I don't know how much I do for you, but you don't know what you've done for me."

Harry moved closer, his lips hovering over Draco's who was frozen in place, and utterly terrified.

"Harry," a simple breath on his lips.

"Let me show you."

When Draco made no move to leave, Harry closed the distance between them. As soon as their lips touched and Draco kissed him back, Harry knew this was what he wanted, what he needed. Gently, he pushed Draco to lie on the grass, his hands cushioning his head.

Draco was very quickly losing resolve. Harry was kissing him like he was somebody, and Merlin did Draco feel like a somebody now. He matched what he was given, letting Harry take what he wanted. For his own part, Draco finally had his hands in Harry's hair, which was softer than he ever thought it would be. A soft keening noise from Harry had Draco pulling back, pressing a hand against Harry's chest.

"Draco?"

Draco's second biggest mistake was looking at Harry in that moment. Red puffy lips, eyes shining bright and vulnerable. Draco couldn't do it. Harry recognized the wild look in the other man's eyes, and pleaded with him.

"Don't."

If Draco left now, Harry would never recover.

"Harry, we can't. I'm so scared, I can't, I can't lose you. Maybe I'm too dependent on you but if I lose you, I'll have nothing."

"Or maybe, you love me, and you're too scared to explore it."

Harry understood, so with one soft kiss pressed to Draco's forehead, he let him go. When Draco looked back at Harry, Harry knew that he would do everything in his power to make Draco his. What Draco thought was acceptance on Harry's part, was really just acceptance of an unspoken challenge.