[1] Midnight Lips | Ghost

𝐂𝐇. 43

VAL
༻❁༺

     The smile on my face was unmistakable as I laid on top of Simon after our little sesh on the desk. I had missed this, being close to him and the warmth of his embrace, feeling his heart pick up its pace and his rapid breathing against me, the exquisite feeling of him pushing into me until all I could think about was how good it felt. Just, everything.

We had things to do and get done—Simon did more than I—yet we didn't move an inch from the couch and I was sure we wouldn't until we really, really had to. I knew I had to let Simon know, but some selfish part of me didn't want to remind him we had to continue with the day. Fuck, if I could, I would stay in this moment for the rest of it.

I sighed, remembering I actually had nothing to do except speak to Kate and receive her orders. My stomach twisted with worry, because I just knew this might be the end of my journey with Task Force 141, with Simon, and I didn't know why, but I would trade anything for more time with him, maybe because the amount of time we'd spent wasn't enough and I needed more.

Alejandro's words from yesterday crossed my mind in a flash.

I'll get everything ready for you to return home.
You need to properly rest and you are not going to find that if you stay here.
Our work though?

I knew what he meant, and I knew he hadn't meant it in a bad way. Alejandro wasn't that type of guy, but whenever he was getting frustrated because things weren't going according to his plan, he'd blurt anything just to make the other person agree with him, though it was always the wrong choice of words and he'd end up being mistaken for someone he wasn't.

Still, I couldn't help but think if he was actually right. Our work? I wasn't sent here to help Los Vaqueros and TF-141 find the stolen missiles, I was here to find the traitor who was making their work harder and longer than it was. And I did. So now what? Do I return to the U.S.? Do I keep working with them? Do I do nothing? Do I do everything?

Kate had my next move.
And I'd never been so afraid of her.

"What's on your mind?" I was startled by Simon's raspy voice, and I looked up to find his beautiful eyes already looking down at me. Once again, everything seemed to vanish. Every thought, every word, every moment until it was just us and nothing else, and this new awareness cut through me like a knife and it hurt so badly.

I really did want more time with him.

I put my head back on his chest just to hear his heartbeat. "I need to speak to Kate about what's next for me." I caught the way his thumb on my shoulder stopped for a brief second, caught the way his chest stopped moving as if he couldn't get any air into his lungs anymore, before everything fell back into place. Just one sentence and he knew exactly what it meant. "If she tells me to go, should I refuse and try to stay?"

"I don't... know."

I couldn't hide my surprise. Simon Riley not knowing something? I didn't know that was a thing, and it was a really bad one. "Oh."

He shifted under me, pulling my head back to meet his eyes. "Do you want me to be honest?"

"Always," I whispered, my voice betraying me.

"All my life, I have always avoided being a selfish man. I have let everyone around me push and pull and get things despite them being what I wanted, just because I didn't want to be that kind of an asshole." He traced my jaw with his thumb, his eyes following his movements. "But for once, I'm willing to be that selfish man and take what I want."

My heart pounded so hard against my chest that I was afraid it was going to get out and land right on his hand. His words. They felt like it was exactly what they wanted—to have my heart taken away and be claimed by him.