[1] Midnight Lips | Ghost

𝐂𝐇. 62

𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐓
༻☠︎︎༺

     Valentina was sitting at the edge of the bed by the time I returned from the bathroom after changing my wet mask for a dry one. The white towel was still wrapped tightly around her body, and she appeared to be lost in her pretty mind. I wanted nothing more than to be able to read all of it. It was obviously impossible, and I wasn't certain if Val felt okay with sharing if I were to ask, so I stepped in front of her instead, and that mere action brought her attention back to me.

She smiled softly, and my whole chest clenched. I still couldn't seem to understand how stupid I was for almost letting her fall from my fingers, for almost losing her even if this was the only place where I could be worth having her. Our time here was limited, and I'd do anything to spend every second of it with her happy other than sad.

Not having to even think about it, I bent one knee and then the other to kneel in front of her, wrapping my arms around her waist while burying my head in her lap. There was something so... peaceful in being so vulnerable with Valentina, knowing she would never judge me, not after what I told her earlier and after showing half of my face to her.

I showed her half of my face.

I thought I'd somehow feel weird about it, become less Ghost than I was. I had panic, my chest was a hole waiting to consume all of me and then explode. But none of it came true. Instead, all that came afterward was tranquility, a wave of calmness and fondness and trust, so much trust. It was as if a weight was lifted off my shoulders and I could finally breathe correctly again.

Her hands stroked my covered head and I gripped her closer to me, breathing the scent of clean mixed with her sweet scent of roses and midnight. I could do this all day and night, just stay on my knees, let her stroke my head, and breathe her in, knowing that she was there and would still be there tomorrow and the day after. Because it was, in a way, comforting to be on my knees just for her.

When she asked me that first time if I went to Nadia's room, I never thought she was referring to me spending the whole night in there doing only God knows what. It never crossed my mind that Nadia would take advantage of the situation and make a deal out of it. I wasn't even sure how she got my dog tag, all I knew was that that night was a misunderstanding and it hurt Valentina, and hurting Valentina pained me.

The way disappointment washed her eyes and the tears that blurred them as she tried to not let them fall and hold it all together. When she stepped away from my touch, from me, almost as if she was afraid I would do something to her. It all fucking wrecked me.

And then those bastards aiming their weapons at her, and I, standing there, not being able to do anything, being so helpless, feeling so helpless, knowing that in any second, they could fire and Valentina's body could fall to the ground, lifeless, while I remained there with the knowledge that I never got to told her that I was sorry, that I never meant to make her cry, that I wished I was different and wished I could take her to a date sometime, multiple dates, until she fell in love with me and decided that the rest of her life was worth spending it all with me.

Bloody fucking Jesus.

I panicked then, I still panicked now as I looked up at Valentina's eyes. A lot of things made me panic, but the real reason was me being the twisted, pathetic, traumatized guy, who didn't live a normal life, and now he found this beautiful woman who looked at him as if he was allowed to desire a normal life, who made him feel like he could someday accomplish it.