[1] Midnight Lips | Ghost

𝐄𝐗𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐃 𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄

𝐕𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐀
༻❁༺

Simon.

He was there, alive and breathing. He was there, behind me, with me. For a moment, I thought this was all a dream, that I was falling into a trance, and that my mind was playing tricks on me. That this was the only way for me to cope with losing Simon forever or maybe... maybe... I didn't know. But then there was the heat of his body embracing me as his arms tightened around me, making it all the more clear to me that he was actually here, hugging me, alive and okay, with his lips still brushing the shell of my ear after he'd muttered those piercing words to me.

You can't kill a ghost, baby.

I crumbled into pieces, my chest opening itself as if the knot that had been in there came undone and I could finally breathe again. My God, I couldn't believe it. I pressed my wet eyes together, making more tears stream down my face, and after I counted to five, I opened them again and yes, his arms were still around me, his warmth still surrounded me, Simon was still breathing behind my ear.

I turned around and gazed up, my eyes landing on his honey-brown ones. It took all of the air out of my lungs to see how alive he was. But how? How? He died before my eyes, how is he alive? My trembling hand came up and hesitantly hovered over his side, because I still hadn't grasped that Simon, God my Simon, was really here. Then my palm closed the distance and after that one touch on his arm, I couldn't help it anymore. I came undone.

With both hands, I touched every part of Simon's body almost desperately. No, not almost, completely desperate, to make sure he was intact, that he wasn't hurt, that this wasn't my imagination. I needed to make sure it wasn't my imagination. His arms, his stomach, his back, his chest, his face. God his face. He wasn't wearing his mask anymore, except for that black cap hiding his golden hair. His face was full on display, and when I took him in my hands, I could feel the stubble on his jaw, one that tickled me.

Simon stared down at me with glassy eyes and a soft expression. He let the fact that he was alive process in my head as he gave me a few minutes to myself. Alive. That word ate me up. I stepped closer, pressing my hand over his chest and feeling his heart beating inside at a slightly fast pace. A sob escaped from my mouth because it had felt so long since the last time I felt his heartbeat. It had been so long since I last saw him.

And suddenly I was so angry, so angry at him for doing this to me. How dared he do this to me? How could he have made me believe that he was dead when he was so very much alive? I fisted my hand on his chest, and then without thinking, it raised and came down. It felt so good, so relieving, for some reason, that I did it again, and again, and again, until both of my fists were coming down hard on his chest because why? Why? Why—

"Why?" I sobbed.

Why did he let his funeral go through? Why didn't he say anything? Why did he leave me only to come back? Did he think I would just smile and everything would go back to normal? That I would be jumping up and down? Of course, I was happy, so fucking relieved that he was alive, but I was also mad. I'd been miserable without him. I blamed myself for his death. The thought of ending it all was calling me every night, almost dragging me under. Didn't he think of that? Didn't he think of the consequences? Didn't he think of me?

"Why would you do this to me?" I cried into his chest, because for some reason I was buried in his embrace with his arms tight around me and his mouth on the top of my head, and I was so tired. "I thought... I thought I lost you."

"Valentina darling, my love. I am here now." His voice was soft and so familiar, I ached. It was one of the things I had dreamed the most about, often heard in the whisper of the wind whenever I needed to hear it. But now... now it was here, and it was real.