luck for the night - rl.

24. nightmares

"Fucking hell, who turned on their alarm?" I tried to cover my ears, but it had no use because the most annoying sound in the world kept attacking my brain. Where was my extra pillow? I stretched my arm to my right, expecting to feel my smooth, white duvet, and the other pillow. Instead, I felt a cold, hard surface, and my hand bumped into something, creating even more sound as it fell over with a loud tinkle. What the fuck?

My eyes opened, and I was greeted by a zebra print settee. Slowly, everything started coming back. It did take a good few seconds for my brain to boot up and I realised I crashed the night at Amelia's. It was something I had done before, but that was ages ago. It felt good to be back on the old, trusted couch. What didn't feel good was the alarm still blaring.

That was the second thing I realised: the alarm was mine because it was a normal day and I still was in London. Fuck.

I slowly sat up, grabbing my phone, the screen proudly displaying that it was five-thirty in the morning. A sigh left my lips. Well, at least I had to check what I just threw off the coffee table, so I turned on the flashlight on my phone.

Oh, luckily, it was just a little vase, and It did not seem to be broken. After taking a deep breath, I sat up and grabbed it from the floor. I allowed myself to stall for another minute: I did not want to go to work and face Phoebe. Especially not after last night, the third thing I remembered as I sat on the couch.

There had been a party and I had tagged along. The excitement, the dress, the almost hooking up with Remington in the lavatory. Still, a bitter taste in my mouth when I thought about the phone call he and I had, yesterday before I wound up at Mel's. I knew his career came first. I knew he wanted to protect our friendship, or whatever it was, from being exposed to the whole wide world. It was new, fragile. But when he cancelled at the last minute, it hurt. So, it had been nice to see Remington again at the party, even though it meant pretending to be meeting each other for the first time.

Then, our last conversation came to mind, outside in the darkness of the night. When my chest had filled up with roses, and my body buried in thorns. After talking to him, I felt so much better, until the moment it hit me. Remington and I were doomed to fail, even if we were just friends.

Mel had telepathically felt I needed to leave because right at that moment she had called me.

"I have to go," I had told Remington after a short phone call with my best friend.

A glimmer of something on his face, but he still smiled. "Okay."

I had gotten up from the picnic table, but he had raised his arm. His hand lingered on my arm for a second, a second that almost made me stay. "It was nice to see you tonight, Rylin."

"It was," I agreed, trying to take another step away from him. Once again, his fingers on my arm stopped me.

"I will figure out something, tomorrow." He had promised, giving a half-smile.

It had taken me everything to walk back to the light, back to the party that had been coming to its end, since midnight was nearing.

If I had looked back once before going inside, I would have turned around. Why was it so hard to walk away from a friend?

I grabbed my phone, still not sure if yesterday night had actually happened. That glimmer of happiness in my chest, when I had let my feelings dance freely, under the stars with Remington, had it really been real?

I absentmindedly stared at my bright phone screen, pushing away every feeling, every emotion that was brewing in my body.

I noticed the time flickering on my screen, and rushed into the kitchen to grab my backpack. Before I could, though, I stumbled and fell over a pair of shoes.