luck for the night - rl.

38. how does one kiss on accident?

My best friend's face materialised on the screen in front of me, expression a direct opposite from mine. Her eyes were bright, a thousand and one emotions pouring from them. Even if my face was tiny in the corner of my screen, I could see my own were dull and soft with confusion.

Where her lips curled upwards, mine drooped, tugged down by the same guilt that was pulling in my heartstrings. In a split second, I put on a face that matched hers. "Hey girl!"

I plopped down in my big chair as Mel started talking. She did not waste time greeting me, lips immediately moving at a speed faster than anything I'd ever heard. "I did it!" She exclaimed. "I did it and it was perfect! She said yes, like honestly can you fucking believe that, I actually did it and it was the best and-"

"Mel," I interrupted, trying to smile, "take a breath." I loved seeing her happy, even when I felt like shit, but there had been moments like these when she called me, and she was so excited to talk that she forgot to breathe... and well, nothing was as unpleasant as watching your own best friend faint out of excitement.

The smile did not fade from my best friend's face, but she took a deep breath. "Yes, you are right." She took a sip of water, and her lips parted again. Even if she had not said anything of substance yet, I knew what she was going to say. The twinkle in her eyes was recognisable from a mile away.

My brows knitted together as I wondered: would Remington see it in mine? And what would he do with it? I was certain I would not, could not see the same in his. My eyes went down for a split second, focusing on my hands. I was calling my best friend, and she was excited to share something special with me. Then why was my brain still infested with thoughts of him?

"I just couldn't hold back anymore," Mel said, "I was walking in the park with Zoya and I just looked at her face and everything just..." She sighed, eyes far away from the present, "felt right."

A smile crept up my lips, seeing Mel so happy. "And what happened then?"

Mel continued her story: "So I told her! I told her how I felt! She was quiet for a second and it terrified me but then this big smile came onto her face and she said 'That's funny because I feel the same way about you', and then she asked to kiss me, in the middle of the park, and we kissed! Can you believe that?"

For a split second, my mind soured. I would never be able to do that, not with the person I wanted to. There were so many things that stopped me from ever being able to have something like that with him, so many things that should want me to stop... But I could not let him go. Not anymore.

"I'm happy for you, Mel," I smiled, half forced, half genuine, "So, you guys are officially together now?"

"I hope so." But Mel wasn't Mel if she did not notice the darkness in my eyes. "What's going on?"

"I'll tell you another time," I shifted in my chair, nervous, suddenly. "Let's just be happy, for now. because I really, genuinely am. Zoya is such a kind, fun pers-"

Now it was Mel's turn to cut me off. "Bitch, I'm your best friend, I'm not happy if you're not happy." That same spark in her eyes, the one I had seen a million times before, recently. Worry. And I was done with people worrying about me.

For once, I did not want to hold back the truth. Even if that meant sharing my terrible mood with Mel, at a moment of happiness. Even if it meant hearing her say 'I told you so' until the end of time. "You were right," I sighed.

Mel's eyebrows shot up, already taken over by the fact that there was news. "About what?"

I looked away from my screen as if admitting this all would be easier that way. "I'm bad at being friends with benefits."