Satellite Stomper and Wild Sunflower [Zarry Stylik AU]©️

Is the hurt gone?

H,

I opened my eyes to the early morning light. I felt unusually light.

Also, cold.

I turned to the side, finding Zayn standing by the window looking at the sunrise, instead of next to me on the sofa. He was naked, showing off the tattoos on his back. His jet-black hair fell to his neck, almost covering the tattoo on top of his back.

I lived fairly up and the buildings across from me were smaller in height; so, it wasn't an alarming the fact that Zayn was naked overlooking the street.

He grabbed the cigarette between his fingers, sucking in on that death stick, then blew the air out the window into the dawn. He looked like a treasure standing so close to me. I grabbed a pillow, and put it under my head, watching him just be himself.

Zayn was almost done with his cigarette, looking for the ashtray I usually kept by the window for him.

"It's over there..."

Zayn jumped at the sound of my voice but followed the indication. The ashtray was further down the windowsill, and he quickly fetched it. My love took one last drag, then put the cigarette out in the black ashtray shaped like a moon.

"Can't believe you still have this," Zayn commented, walking back to the window holding the ashtray.

"I wouldn't toss it out," I explained. "Your stuff is still here."

"I noticed," Zayn commented looking around the room. "Your stuff is in the attic. I couldn't look at it."

"It's fair. I understand." Zayn placed the ashtray on the window, then sat down on the windowsill looking at me. "Something's bothering you."

"How do you know?"

"You're smoking in the morning." I completed. "You never smoke before your coffee; it usually makes you sick."

Zayn nodded quietly, then looked down at his naked feet. I knew that no matter how good the loving had been, he was still haunted by questions.

"I feel like we've traded places. I am the one not able to put issues to rest and you want to move forward." He commented, to which I showed him a shy smile, waiting for him to continue. "Why did you say yes to marrying me?"

I closed my eyes momentarily, letting out a heavy sigh from inside. I sat up on the sofa where we had just made love. Then, I shrugged. The answer was simple.

"I love you. And I was willing to go forward with us even if...it wasn't right because...I love you."

"Why didn't you say something? If you thought we weren't happy, we could've talked about it."

I scoffed.

"Could we? You wouldn't accuse me of being dramatic or not letting the issue die?" I asked. Zayn pouted, crossing his arms over his bare chest. "Because I've always wanted to address this issue between us, but you kept avoiding it, walking away from me; I'd chase you down and you'd love-bomb me to death. We never talked about this. We never apologized to one another. That's why I left..." I confessed. "And trust me, it wasn't easy. It wasn't easy for me to get up that morning and just go in the opposite direction. My suit is still in the closet."

Zayn ran his fingers through his magical hair.

"If you didn't want to get married, you should've said no to me. The moment I asked, you should've said no."

"I couldn't." I shrugged. "I don't know how to say no to you. I...I want you. All the time. Marrying you is...the best thing you could ask me. And even though we had this thing between us, of course, I wanted...I want to marry you. I want you as my husband. I want us together. I can't even find a love like ours. I...We've talked about this...we're...twin flames."