Your Hand To Hold

Chapter Twenty-Six: Onward!

May 5th, 2015

          "And that, my dear Sif, is why I shall never trust your sense of direction ever again," Fandral groaned as we returned to Himinbjörg, covered in all manner of muck, slime, and filth after returning from the Alfheim swamps.

   "We won, didn't we," Sif retorted, breathlessly as she emptied her boot while Heimdall's chuckle echoed around us. "I see the great giant laughs at our expense. Perhaps next time we face a dark god and his minions while attempting to push them back to their territories, and only their agreed-upon territories, you might come along and lend a golden hand."

   Heimdall's eyes sparkled as he shook his head. "Cannot leave my post, after all, someone has to protect our borders while you're off pissing off the old gods." Sif rolled her eyes as she put her boot back on while Loki helped me to wipe as much of the grime away as possible.

   "Any word from Thor?"

   Heimdall sighed, shaking his head. "I am sorry, Little Lady, he has sent nothing my way. I can tell you with certainty that he is well, as is his Lady Jane." Sif scoffed, still bitter at the recent reconciliation between the two.

   It had been over a year since we had last seen Thor. He had returned briefly for both Loki's natal day and the usual Jul celebrations, bringing what little information he had managed to find regarding the Aether and the Tesseract. From what he had managed to share with us, the Aether had not always been what we knew it to be. While Malekith had warped the original relic to be the weapon we now had a very close and personal knowledge of, from Thor's understanding it had once been very similar to the Tesseract.

   "There may be thousands of them, across multiple dimensions and universes. Limitless power lying within various relics of unknown origin," he had told us ominously. The thought of such items being out there, with so many people searching for them, seemed like a recipe for disaster, yet Thor had seemed unbothered by this prospect. "Our grandfather stumbled upon the Tesseract by happenstance, and Malekith created the Aether from an artifact that had been closely guarded by the sorcerer he had apprenticed under for centuries prior. I can find no word of any further items appearing, though many are searching for them. So long as we continue to keep our ears and eyes open for such things, I think we shall be able to stay ahead of any more conflict."

   I had wanted to agree with him, yet something about the way Loki had begun to wring his hands as if he knew something combined with the dreadful feeling in my stomach gave me pause. I had not had the opportunity to voice my concerns before he had gone again, though I had spoken with Loki about them several times over the past year. While I still did not fully understand all that he had endured after he had fallen into the void and he had never given me any names, I did now know that he had been shackled in a small, cold, dark space where he was well-isolated save from the screams of other prisoners and fed very little; that he had called out to Heimdall and begged him to let us know, let me know, that he was alive and that he was sorry only to drown in silence. Hearing of his slow spiral into madness, how he had become so easily pliable to their manipulation while longing just to know we had not given up on him was heartbreakingly haunting. After Thor's admission that there were many that were seeking these stones, Loki had become almost inconsolable and I had spent several days just holding him, only leaving his room to get us food.

   Frigga had worried after him during that week. The dread I saw etched on her angelic face each time I had stepped out from the door only to shake my head allowing her to know that he was not ready yet to face anyone had been almost as painful as when I had only been allowed to see her through her skillfully cast illusions. She had stopped me on the third day, taking my hand in hers in silence as we simply sighed together, neither knowing what to do nor how to help. She had helped me make him his favorite waffles that day, the sight and smell of them perking him up enough to allow her in for a visit.

   Frigga was never one to judge; something I was grateful for as while I had managed to get Loki to bathe with me regularly and had kept up on changing his sheets, the plates had begun to stack up and the candle wax had melted over their plating, often dripping down the sides of dressers and tables onto the floor. The day we had managed to get to go for a stroll through the gardens with Fandral, both Frigga and I had hiked up our skirts, rolled up our sleeves, and gotten the room back in order. While he had returned refreshed and mostly grateful, there was still a touch of anxiety to him that took an additional three days to overcome.

   In truth, it hadn't been until we had begun to accompany Sif, Fandral, and Volstagg to the outer realms to assist in pushing out marauders, encroachers, and most notably, to apprehend the enchantress Lorelei that we began to see a change in Loki. With Hogun remaining on the Vanaheim with his warrior love, Skadihr, and Thor away a hole had been left in the defense team. While Sif and Fandral had been happy to request my assistance, it had been with more of a begrudging acceptance that they needed Loki's help as well that had them extending the offer to him too. While I understood Sif's apprehension, Fandral's was a bit of a double-edged sword; some days he seemed fine with it, joking and carrying on as was his usual behavior, while others he almost avoided both of us. Still, neither could snub their noses at how well we worked together in battle, even if Sif's leadership often left something to be desired.

   "How long does he think he can keep things working with the mortal, anyway," Sif sighed, pulling me from my memories as she headed toward the entrance to the rainbow bridge. The fissure from where it had been broken years before could still be seen, a shimmering scar most noticeable when the Bifróst was active. "I mean, he is our king-to-be; will he just abandon us for her?"

   "Would that truly be so wrong of him; to abandon a throne he has not wanted since he met her to be with her," Fandral asked, a touch of longing in his voice as he sighed. He stood beside her, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder, as she turned to him; a bitter look set on her face. "I know where your heart lies, I understand what it means to not have the person you wish to hold with you- in many ways."

   Sif frowned as we readied the horses to return to the main city, a heavy exhale leaving her. "I want him to be happy... That is all I have ever wanted. Why can he not notice me though?"

   Fandral shrugged, squeezing her shoulder as he did. "We do not get to choose who we fall in love with, my dear Sif, our souls choose for us; sometimes but once, others a second or a third, or perhaps even a fourth. The important thing to remember when a first love fails or is outlived, is that it is never too late to begin again, to dream a new dream." His eyes met mine then, a simple smile tugging at his pouted lips as he nodded respectfully toward Loki and me.

   Smiling softly, I returned his nod as Loki placed his hand on the small of my back, helping me up on his horse as we waited for them before the five of us journeyed back to the city to freshen up before dinner. Word had traveled fast of our success as we reached the gate, greeted to the cheers of members of nobility and staff alike. I quickly spotted Frode, Kåre, Hlíf, and Trygve all clapping and waving. I waved back, wiping dripping slime from my hair off of my forehead as I did as the crowd dispersed, the four of them coming to greet us.

   "My lords," Trygve bowed to Loki, Fandral, and Volstagg before turning to Sif and me, repeating his deep, well-practiced motion. "My ladies. It is good to have you back."

   "Thank you Trygve, I would hug you all except," Hlíf chuckled at me sweetly, shaking her head as she came over to me and cupped my face between her hands.

   "If you think a bit of muck is going to stop me from givin' you a proper hug after all this time, you've lost your mind, child." I smiled, sighing into her warm, fleshy arms. "Good to have you back, sweet girl."

   "It is good to be back, Hlíf. How have things been while we were away?"

   "Fine, fine. Inga's needed to take to bed rest early now that she's seven months along; Gods' be good, those babies'll stay within her womb until August, or Sten will find himself in the wine cellar once again, sure as sunrise," she huffed with a roll of her eyes.

   "We shall have to see to it then that her duties are covered- I shall see to it that her duties are covered," I took her hands as she opened her mouth to argue silencing her quickly as Loki smiled beside me.

   "I am sure Volstagg can speak to Sten as well; after fifteen natural-born children, I am sure he shall have some wisdom to depart to a new father-to-be."

   Hlíf exhaled appreciatively, placing a hand on her breast. "That would be most valued if you could get him to speak with him, My Prince; he's been at his wit's end since finding out they were not to be blessed with one bouncing bundle, but three, and on the first go around."

   "I shall speak with him and see what can be done."

   "Thank you, and Ei- I mean, My Lady," she corrected unnecessarily, her grey eyes twinkling proudly as she did; "if you wouldn't mind giving me a hand in the kitchens the next few days, I would take it as a kindness."

   "Of course, let me just go and clean up-"

   "No, no, no," the motherly head of the kitchen chastised, shaking her head of silvering brown hair. "No. Tonight, you are owed a feast for all you have done in the past few weeks to restore peace to the Alfheim. Tomorrow you will rest and Monday, you shall return to work with me, unless your skills are required elsewhere, understood." I sighed but nodded before she shooed me away to go and change, as Sif and Fandral also headed toward the castle after having done their crowd work.

   Loki hung back to speak with Volstagg, but not for too long before he caught up with me. He fell into step beside me as Sif began to debrief us, breaking down what little she felt we had done right and all the things she felt we needed to improve on; namely following her direction.

   "Perhaps, my dear Sif, before our next outing, you could work on relearning your left from your right as that seems to be where most of our issues stem from."

   "Fandral, for the last time," Sif hissed, whirling around as she stomped backward; "just because I answered 'right' to your question of 'left' doesn't mean that I meant for you to go right instead."

   "Then perhaps you should have said 'correct'; words matter."

   "Oh, leave her be, Fandral, it is not her fault that your door swings both ways, making it difficult to understand a hard right from a hard left," Loki smirked.

   Fandral smiled, glancing back at Loki as he waggled his eyebrows. "Only you would know that, god of mischief."

   I eyed both men suspiciously as Sif shuddered and told them that she would see them at dinner, urging us all to dress respectfully as she had heard through the grapevine that the visiting lord of the Alfheim had spoken with Odin about honoring us all this evening. As Volstagg and Fandral parted ways from us as well, Loki laced his fingers with mine.

   "I would say such an outing would call for some relaxation in our hot spring, yet such a mess calls for something easier to clean."

   I nodded in agreement. "That and I should like to choose a dress for this evening and I have none in your room."

   "Tell you what," he said, pausing as we stood at the end of the hallway that would force us to choose whose quarters we adjourned to; "how about just this once, we bathe separately, and then I'll come to your room after I've dressed to help you with whatever else you need?"

   "Or, what if you go and gather your clothes while I run us the hottest bath possible in my chambers and you come and join me so we can get ready together, hmm, Mo Chroí?"

   He chuckled, that wide toothy grin of his spreading across his face as he cupped my chin, his thumb gently stroking my muck-covered cheek. "You really do not like bathing alone anymore do you, Little Dove?"

   I shook my head. "Not for the past year now, no."

   "You know," he smirked, eyes sparkling; "I imagine you would find it even more enjoyable if you would do so with me without the buffer of a tunic."

   I shook my head at him, shoving him away. "See you in a minute?"

   "Sooner, if I have the strength and energy to teleport." And with that, he vanished in a puff of green energy.