Your Hand To Hold

Chapter Fifteen: An End to Schemes

          I began to regret my decision to give Nat's nearly insane plan a lash as we pressed our backs as close against the bridge wall as possible while Captain prepared himself on the other. Why these people were already putting so much trust and faith in me was beyond me, yet I refused to disappoint them, nor those back home who were counting on Thor and me. As I steadied my breathing, preparing for what inevitably came next, I thought back to the kiss... Why now? And where had he gone? Loki had said he was going to try to stop 'him'; who was this mysterious him and was he the reason why Loki's eyes had changed, why Loki had changed?

   The heavy shifts in his personality, reflected by his eye color screamed to me that he wasn't completely off with the fae, yet he was definitely caught up in something lethal. While he had done horrible things, and taken far too many innocent lives to count on the Jotunheim and now Midgard, there had to be an influence behind this attack. With the Jotunheim, he had wanted to prove that he was not weak, that he was Thor's equal by erasing the existence of what he was. It was a terrible plan, yet understandable in hindsight. This attack, though, the glee he seemed to carry as he attacked Thor, watched as innocent people were put in harm's way; this was ruthless and without reason. Something was fueling his hatred, making him think this was the only way to have what he wanted. If only I could figure out what it was.

   As Nat raced off first, sprinting forward and jumping off a nearby carriage to leap onto Captain's shield for him to pop her high into the air, her hand precariously holding onto the back of the alien vehicle, I could only laugh. This was insanity; I had to be out of my mind to be doing this. As I sprinted off toward the carriage to copy Nat's moves thirty seconds later though, I realized that I had never felt freer or more like myself; as if this had always been what I was meant to do, as if diving in and out of portals while flying through the air was my life's purpose.

   Opening a gateway as Captain tossed me up, I dove in, landing behind Nat as she stabbed her knives into the back of the creature driving. I was tasked with keeping the Chitauri off our tail and from crashing into us as Nat had explained. As such, I spent my time on the back end of the carriage, throwing knives as Nat begged the vehicle to turn, the mechanical man zipping underneath us and blasting the soldiers on our tail that managed to avoid my tricks. Just as she managed to get a better handle on how to steer the impossible vehicle through the alien, a spark of bluish-white energy hit the side of us. We both looked back to see Loki atop a cruiser, firing from the blasters on his ship.

   "That lying gobshite," I muttered, my frustration hard to hide. I wanted to throw myself at him, stab his pilot and send them sailing into the ground of another world, particularly one with a dark, barren desert that would burn his pale skin in the day, and freeze his soul in the night.

   My daggers were useless at this range, and even if I could hit him, it would have only put us in the same place we'd been ten months ago. I couldn't do that to Frigga, to myself; no matter how much he might have deserved it at this moment. Half disgusted with myself for letting my emotions control me, I focused on blocking as many of his blasts as I could; praying that he was under some sort of mind control so I could justify not only his actions but my own. Otherwise, I would need to kill him later.

   "Hawkeye! Uh... A little help!" Nat called as she fought to stay in control of the cruiser.

   "I got him," the bowman called Hawkeye answered confidently.

   He let fly an arrow, perfectly timed to strike, yet nothing could get past the prince of mischief. Without even looking away from us, Loki managed to catch the arrow; smugly turning his head to look back at the bowman on his perch moments before it exploded. I watched as he and the Chitauri piloting his chariot were sent flying towards the tower; the alien and cruiser flew into two of the remaining letters as Loki crashed through the lower balcony's glass.

   "This is where we part ways," I said to Nat.

   "Kick his ass, Competition," was all she said as she turned, circling back around the tower, as I free-fell backward to land on the balcony above Loki, while Nat abandoned the cruiser to land on the roof near the beacon.

   As I raced down around the platform, trying to find the fastest way down to him that didn't require me to throw myself off the balcony and hope to land on the one below, Hulk came flying through the air. He grabbed Loki, knocking him up and back through the windows of what had appeared to be a parlor. I backtracked quickly, having just come from an entrance to there. I heard Loki screaming about how we were all beneath him shortly before the sounds of things being whipped around and shattered sprang out.

   "Captain, New Girl; There's a bank on forty-second past Madison, lot of civilians pinned down there."

   "E, can you meet me there?"

   I hesitated, the sounds of crashing behind me giving my heart pause before my head could take over and remind me of the bigger picture once more. With a heavy sigh, I ran past the parlor back the way I'd come, diving off the landing pad-like balcony that protruded out of the top balcony. "On my way."


          Ripping my spear from the Chitauri soldier that I had used to get down and to the bank, I still hadn't fully figured out how the damned things worked, but I had a feeling the Bifróst crystals in my armor allowed me to go where I wanted to be most; a useful feature indeed. I managed to beat Captain there, giving him a little wave as he came over and began assessing the situation. There was already a bunch of authority-looking figures standing out beside the doors, though why they had not gone in I was unsure.

   "They have to have the high ground in the office section above the doors to hold all of those people hostage. I'll take the left, you take the right." I nodded, taking a few steps back as we leaped up and dove through the broken windows.

   I rolled as soundlessly as I could, staying low as Captain rose and flung his shield at the Chitauri soldier closest to me; knocking a beeping box from its hand. The two in front of him spun around, their staffs pointed at him the purple energy illuminating the blades. As they fired at him, I dove forward my spear held aloft as I tried something different. Spinning the staff the way Thor did Mjolnir, I thought of Muspelheim, opening my eyes and emitting a victorious cry as I saw the portal shield I had created; the Chitauri's blasts disappearing into the empty, wasteland of ash and fire. The portal surprised them, their fire ceasing for a moment as Captain kicked a desk, sending it flying into the two as one went flying back over the railing; the crowd of civilians cried out as the creature landed beside them. I retracted the blades of the spear, the portal closing with them as he called out to the people below, telling them to clear out. A soldier came up behind him, putting him into a headlock as I threw a dagger at the first one who had risen back up, his staff charged and aimed at the struggling Captain. The wind coming from wherever he was to be sent was so strong, the paper across the way fluttered toward it, along with the beeping box.

   Captain flipped himself over the back of the soldier who had him held, using him as a shield for the energy blast that managed to escape my gateway. The beeping of the box grew louder, as Captain shouted to get down, kicking it as close to the windows as he could. He positioned himself between it and the railing, intent on keeping as many people safe as possible from the explosion. I looked around for anything, anything at all that I could use as organic material to open a portal before spotting the fallen Chitauri soldier he had dispatched a few moments prior. Leaping towards it as I begged Thor's forgiveness, I released my spear driving it down just as the bomb went off; the explosion rippling around the edges of my gateway, sending Captain soaring backward with the shockwave.

   I could only imagine what the scene had looked like from the outside as chunks of stone came flying back towards me as I was pulled toward the deep void I had opened. I drove my dagger into the floor, holding on for dear life as the last bit sailed past me; bits of glass grazing against my face and hands as I closed my eyes to protect them, missing the last large chuck of stone as it hit me in the head before bouncing off into the final pull of the portal. Collapsing on the ground, I rolled over, catching my breath before I lifted my hand to catch my spear as it flew out just as the last speck of energy glimmered away as the Bifróst energy closed in on itself.

   "E? You alright?" Captain groaned out from somewhere below me.

   "Yeah... Everyone alright down there?"

   "Yeah, yeah they are. Good work. More to do though, so let's go." I whined, my muscles arguing with him as I rose, dusting myself off as a young girl looked up at me, her brown eyes wide. She stared for a moment before waving at me, I shyly waved back before I jumped out the window as Captain asked where we were needed.

   "Wherever you see a need, Captain. I'm out of arrows, heading to the ground now to collect what I can."

   "Anyone have eyes on Loki?"

   "Hulk took care of him at the tower, I believe."

   "E, go check and make sure he's still there; Nat, how's everything going with the beacon?"

   "Still working on it, Cap."

   "I guess I'll just be here then." I could hear him grunt at the end of that sentence, and I looked down from a rooftop to see him throwing his shield at more Chitauri than he was prepared to deal with. Before I could head that way, a bolt of lightning hit the center of the group, the trails of it skipping across the ground as it touched as many of the alien soldiers as possible.

   Thor and Captain could handle this, I had a cow to deal with.


          Loki lay in a deep depression on the floor, unmoving. I moved closer, watching for signs of life as I did; unsure how I truly felt after everything that had transpired when I saw his chest weakly rising. The healing stones in the hip bag of Hogun's design suddenly seemed to weigh ten pounds as I watched him lay there. A deep tear in my heart existed. I had mourned for nearly two years and had tried my damnedest to get over him a little more each day while accepting that I would never be able to despite never knowing if there truly had been anything between us on his end. The struggle to overcome the guilt and the anger I felt in regards to what had been done to the Jotunheim, in the loss of the Bifróst resulting in Thor's pain being doubled... And then this.

   Loki's return had been both the best and worst surprise I had ever received. He was alive, and I loved that he was alive. He had also allowed his rage and desperation to twist him into something far worse than what he had been that day on Asgard when he had sent The Destroyer. I thought back to his words, how he had asked me if a monster could truly love. He had never been a monster to me, not even then; now though... Now it was hard to ignore the qualities of one that he so deeply carried.

   "Sif said we were alike..." I muttered to his still-unconscious frame. "She said that we both could raise or fell empires and while I do not doubt her, I had so vehemently defended you. 'He would never destroy empires, that is not what he wants', I told her... How could I have been so wrong, how could I have ever believed that we were alike when we are so very different." I pulled my knees up to rest my chin on them, or at least I tried to. The way the bodice pushed my breasts up made it almost easier to rest my chin on them in such a position than on my knees. With a growl, I pushed the infernal things down and hugged my knees tight.

   "I can close it! Can anybody hear me? I can shut the portal down!" My ears perked up as I cried for Nat to 'do it' at the same time as Captain.

   "No, wait!"

   "Stark, these things are still coming!"

   "I've got a nuke coming in, gonna blow in less than a minute." The silence that hung between us at this acknowledgment was deafening. I had no idea what a nuke was, yet if the reaction everyone else had was this, then it couldn't be good. "And I know just where to put it."

    "Stark, you know that's a one-way trip..." Captain said, his voice trailing off. I rose, trying to look out the broken window to see what he meant until the realization hit.

   I could see him coming, headed straight toward me; a weird-looking white cylinder on his back. He bounced against the building, the glare from his thrusters making me blink. "I can help; I ca-"

   "Not enough time, Jem and The Holograms; you stay there. If I don't succeed at this, do what you can to limit the blast radius." Though he couldn't see me I nodded, not understanding why tears welled in my eyes.

   I watched with bated breath as the mechanical man with the same name as the tower I stood upon climbed higher and higher in the sky toward the void above. By the time I blinked again, he was gone. I exhaled unsteadily, still staring up at the portal above, hoping Captain was wrong. The loud sound of shrieking and crashing managed to pull my eyes away as I peered over the edge watching as the final alligator-like creature just seemed to lose control of itself, diving headfirst into a building where it flipped over and remained still across its roof.

   Whipping my head back up toward the portal, my eyes grew wide as I saw a bright burst of fiery light headed towards us as Captain told Nat to close the portal. "Wait! Just give him five more seconds."

   "If we don't close that portal-"

   "Five seconds!"

   We waited, everything seeming to stop for those five seconds; my heart sank as Captain once again told Nat to close the portal. I couldn't watch any longer; couldn't stand the knowledge that Loki had taken yet another life when over the earpiece, I heard Captain mutter, "Son of a gun."

   I spun around in time to see him fall as Thor's voice echoed in my ear that he wasn't slowing down. I dove without thinking, releasing a dagger towards him as I wrapped my arm around him and released another into the face of something lizard-like that came towards us on Muspelheim, tucking and rolling as we came out near the edge of another building. I tried to grab something as we slid, not wanting to let him go. As we began to plummet once more with nothing for me to use besides ourselves, Hulk flew at us, collecting us both in his large arm as he helped us to land by dragging his hand down the building.

   Thor and Captain met us as we landed atop the Hulk, I rolled aside as he tossed Stark over and onto his back rising and staring down at his friend. I watched in horror as Captain grabbed and tore the metal man's face away, preparing myself to stop him from hurting him further when I saw a human face within. It really had been just a suit...

   He did not stir, no matter what was done. I thought him dead until Hulk roared beside us, startling us all, including the metal-suited man called Stark; his brown eyes flying open as he gasped and took heavy breaths while looking around.

   "What the hell..." I smiled; Thor's hand came to rest on my shoulder as he gave it a soft squeeze. "What just happened? Please tell me nobody kissed me." A soft chuckle escaped Captain as he sat back on his heels, looking around at everything and softly declaring that we had won. I sighed, sinking back as well against Thor, utterly exhausted. "Alright. Yay! Hey, good job guys. Uh, let's just not come in tomorrow, just take a day," he groaned, working to sit up. "You ever try shawarma? Thor, Jem, shawarma? There's a shawarma joint about two blocks from here. I don't know what it is, but I wanna try it."

   Thor and I exchanged a look before his eyes turned up to the tower. He sighed, returning his gaze to his friend. "We are not finished yet..."

   The crestfallen looks on everyone's faces told us all we needed to hear as Thor pulled me once more to my feet. "So, shawarma after?"


          I opened gateways leading back to the tower, making it easier on all of us as we gathered before the broken windows. Exhaustion could be seen in all of us, yet we refused to let it overwhelm us as we blocked the most logical path for Loki to attempt to escape by. Nat held the scepter in her hands still, the Tesseract already encased once more in the same packaging it had been brought here in and held by the Captain, who I had been informed was just called Steve or Captain Rogers.

   "You should be proud, Sister," Thor said softly, as we watched the others set everything up and prepare to ambush Loki once he awoke from his mini, Hulk-induced slumber. "You did well. Heimdall would be proud of your abilities to utilize the Bifróst just as he and Mother presumed you could."

   I gave him a soft, half-hearted smile as I sighed, staring at Loki. "I still do not fully comprehend how or why I was able to do as I did. I had thought that the Bifróst could not be utilized as such."

   Thor nodded. "Technically, it cannot be by mortals nor beings such as myself. You are neither, though, and Heimdall has known this since your arrival. It seems you are something quite special, Eibhlin."

   "And what is that?"

   "I believe Heimdall referred to it as a Cú Sídhe, a type of fae dog known to appear and vanish as it pleased between the realms guiding souls between the mortal realm and their destined afterlife. Sort-of makes sense when you think about it, why you might then be able to tolerate the energy of the Bifróst so well. They also apparently tend to like storms quite a lot, heavy rainfall in particular." He offered me a knowing grin, and I blushed slightly.

   "Yes... I believe I remember something of them. Big black beasts dragging people to Hell..."

   "Oh, well, Mother said that she'd found some writings on ones that were white and red... Sort of like you, that weren't so much murderous monsters but more foreshadowers..." He tried, and I appreciated his attempts greatly, yet it was not as much of a comfort as he seemed to think. As if sensing this he put his arm around my shoulders squeezing softly. "I still do not find you to be a monster, Sweet Sister. And perhaps Stark or Banner will know more; they are, after all, some of the smartest mortals." I could only nod as Loki began to stir, prompting all of us to move into our given positions.

   The man in the mechanical suit called Stark stood to the far right, beside him Captain Rogers with Hulk centered behind them; I stood beside Captain Rogers with Thor to my left as Nat stood beside him, the scepter still held in her hands for Loki to see just how badly he had lost as the man in purple leather who I had heard referred to as both Hawkeye and Barton aimed an arrow directly at Loki's head.

   I watched, feeling so many different things, as he crawled away, stopping only as he realized he was not alone. As he lifted his head to look at each of us, ultimately settling on Stark's gaze to ask for a drink, I could sense his disappointment. Here was a man who had only wanted to be equal, to no longer have to look up to everyone around him being forced to once again look up. I sighed, trying to feel anything but pity at that moment, yet it was the only thing I could feel.

   After a drink offered to him out of pity while we waited for what Nat and Barton referred to as SHIELD- a group that Thor said enjoyed stealing technology from his dealings with them with Jane- we restrained Loki and sat him back down for the time being. He reclined on one of the few good leather chairs near what remained of the bar area we had all had a hand in destroying. While members of SHIELD entered from the elevator, they began to gather what they needed, stopping only when Thor stopped them from taking the Tesseract. As Thor discussed the Tesseract returning with us over a strange talking box with Stark and Nat, I sat beside Loki who could only stare at me.

   "Eibhlin, I..." He tried, sighing as he stopped, frowning as words failed him for once.

   "Please... Do not... My heart cannot handle any more disappointment from you, Loki."

   "I never meant to disappoint you, Eibhlin. I never meant for any of this to happen."

   I leaned forward, careful to make sure no one could hear as I did. "If that was so true, then you would have followed through when you said that you were going to put a stop to this; you would not have lied yet again when you said that you were going to try to end this as you kissed me. Instead, you nearly killed me and Nat. And for what? You said there was another person; was that a lie too?"

   "No," he whispered pleadingly; "No, Eibhlin. Please believe me..."

   "How can I possibly believe a word that comes out of your mouth when every action is contrary to it?"

   "Because I would never lie to you, not about that... Not about your safety. Please, I beg of you. I wish I could say that everything that occurred was entirely mind controlled, but that truly would be a lie; I wanted to do what I did, I wanted to help him because he truly made me believe that there was no reason not to." I looked at his face studying it for the first time then. I noticed the bruises, the ones that could not have formed so quickly, the ones that were days, if not weeks old; the scars and scabs, how sunken, and dark his eyes looked... I let my eyes wash over the rest of him, how ill-fitting his armor was, how sunken his cheekbones were, and it began to make sense.

   I felt my lip twitch, threatening to give me away as I bit down on it to prevent it from doing so as I urged him on. "I never met him, only those he worked through, yet we conversed. He has a great interest in the Tesseract, and as I knew of it, I agreed to track it down and deliver it to him in trade for the nine realms. He gave me an army and the scepter to make my task easier... things become fuzzy after that until Thor, until you..."

   My breath was shaky as I tried to process everything he told me. How could I be so sure that he was being honest? I sighed; I couldn't... I simply had to choose whether to trust him or not, and the look of him had me leaning towards trusting him yet again. Exhaling audibly, I glared at him; once more, I leaned over toward him, my legs bouncing nervously. "Do you understand how foolish you have been? How much damage you have caused? I do not know if there will be anything that Thor or I can do to save you from the All-Father's wrath!" His face fell as the understanding of my words settled in. I sighed, reaching out softly as I took his hand. "I will see what can be done, though. I promised Mother after all."

   He nodded. I wanted to say more, to ask about the kiss but I did not have the strength. Leaning back, I could only glance over at Thor instead. He seemed frustrated as he came near. "We shall be leaving shortly. The Tesseract will be our way back."

   "Then why do you look as if we have no way to return?"

   He sighed, running a hand through his hair as he glanced off into the distance. "They will not allow us to safeguard the scepter, and I had to fight to bring Loki home with us. They feel that he should atone for his crimes here as well. I had to express that they would not have a cell strong enough to contain him in order to be allowed to return with him."

   "I suppose I should be grateful for this; to return to Asgard to rot within my own personal tomb?"

   "I could have Eibhlin dump you on what remains of the Jotunheim for the remaining Frost Giants to take care of, if you'd prefer, Brother?"

   "Asgard it is."

   I shook my head at them both. "Must you two always fall into such a pattern? Is there nothing more you would like to say?"

   Both men huffed, refusing to look at one another. I rose, frustrated and in need of a break. I walked through the broken window, out onto the deck, looking out over the city. So much hate... So much unnecessary destruction.

   "Hey Jem, you alright?" I turned to find Stark, fully out of his suit save for the strange glowing triangle in his chest walking toward me.

   I nodded. "I needed a moment."

   "Sounds human. You did great work today; I hope you know that there would be a lot more people injured or worse if you hadn't joined in."

   "I do not believe I was as integral of a part as you claim; I could not stop him after all," I said, glancing back over my shoulder to look at Loki.

   "Yeah, well, I sort of know a thing or two about power-hungry, megalomaniacs with daddy issues, mostly because I kind of used to be one. They sort of need to fail- and fail big- to overcome that need to take over the whole world; at least for the ones that can grow out of it. I don't exactly know the whole dynamic situation between you three, but I think he'll come around; he seems like he's got a pretty good support network between you and Thor at least."

   "We shall hope."

   "That's all you can do, kid. That, and you know, feel free to swing by here whenever you want. I doubt Fury would have an issue with another friendly God."

   "I am not a god."

   "God, enhanced, mutant, assassin, genius-billionaire-playboy-philanthropist; whatever the hell you are, I'd be happy to have you on my side any day of the week," he extended his hand toward me then, a soft smile on his bearded face. I smiled softly back, taking his hand and shaking.

   "Me too."


          We left the following morning; our landing pad was a bridge in a park that SHIELD carefully blocked off while the others stood around for added safety. Tony and Dr. Erik Selvig, a friend of Thor's who had been under the spell of the scepter along with Barton prior to my arrival on Midgard, had stayed up all night to complete a capsule capable of harnessing the Tesseract's energy to overpower one of my daggers, thus opening the Bifróst and return us home. Captain Rogers had looked on bitterly as they had placed the Tesseract within the mechanism, though why was a story for another day, or so Nat told me.

   While Thor said his goodbyes, I stood beside Loki, though conversation was now out of the question as he'd gotten himself into more trouble with Thor who had gagged him. He bumped against me softly, his littlest finger wrapping around mine as discreetly as he could, though he quickly released me as Nat leaned over towards Barton. Once Thor had finished his goodbyes, I was offered the opportunity to make my own, and while I declined, the others refused to allow such as they came up, thanking and hugging me in turn.

   As each told me the same as Stark had the afternoon prior, I thanked them; feeling an overwhelming sense of pride. I had never felt more accepted, though I wondered if they would feel the same if they had seen my ears. As they all stepped back, Thor held out the canister for Loki and me to take a hold of. While they each took a hold of only one side, I held both while their remaining hands held onto my wrists. Thor gave one last nod to Stark before he looked at me, and together, we pushed in on our side and twisted the handle toward me almost halfway around.

   Just as it had the day that I had traveled with Mother, the swirling rainbow light engulfed us, though bluer than any other color this time, as we traveled up and off toward home, back to Asgard and what may come.

((A.N: If you enjoyed this chapter, why not go and read it from Loki's perspective in Between the Lines?))