Your Hand To Hold

Chapter Six: Warning Thor

 
           I shut the door to my room, having managed to escape Loki's oddly intimate hold on me after accepting his request. We had parted ways a short while after due to him needing to get on with his 'kingly duties'; whatever that meant. I sat down at my desk, where several hours earlier he and I had as he'd asked me about the meaning behind my question to Odin. I massaged my temples, trying to figure out how I could alert Sif and the others that while I would be assisting Loki in appearance, it was so I could find out if they were correct; and if they were, to alert them of his next moves once I was made aware of them. 

   Sif would be a hard sell as she already despised me for reasons unknown and Loki's pet name for me only seemed to further her loathing. Fandral might be an easier individual to approach as he seemed to respect me more now than he had before after my battle with the Frost Giant, yet his drinking made things difficult. Volstagg was almost too cowardly despite being one of the fiercest warriors in the kingdom to involve nor trust as his superstitious and easily swayed stomach presented too many unknowns. Hogun had been the one to alert me of Laufey's words, the one to alert me to Loki's possible betrayal and in many ways that made him my best bet as he would take this seriously despite his attitude towards me.

   Rising, I moved to my breakfast nook where Frigga had left me a small skin of wine to help with my pain and rest. I poured myself the smallest glass, sipping it slowly as I looked out my window; noting the way the sun was beginning to set once again over Heimdall's observatory as the sky filled with brilliant nebulas and constellations. I sighed, thinking about how beautiful my cage had been all these years as I went over Loki's words. His dream world was truly the work of someone well intentioned, yet were those truly his intents or were they just pretty words like so many others.

   I touched my face where his hands had been, closing my eyes as I thought back to the way he'd looked at me. His expressions had been so blank when he'd first started conversating outside Odin's sanctum, as if he was numb or bored. Yet when he'd acknowledged regret in participating in my torment something had changed; he had changed. It was almost as if admitting that allowed him to drop his façade of being the aloof, unmovable brother; the brother incapable of love. There'd been a passion in how he'd spoken to me and not just because of his imagined world, and his touch had been the softest I had ever felt.

   I shook my head, setting my unfinished glass down as I grabbed the edge of the window sill, pressing my forehead to the glass. Why was this such a difficult task; why did I feels so torn as if I was on the very edge of betraying someone who did not deserve such? My head tried to remind me of Hogun's words, of Loki's abilities that mirrored if not fully surpassed Frigga's; of how truly dangerous he could be under the right circumstances. Yet my heart could focus only on the way he'd touched me, his most recent words; of the little boy who had told me to drown out the cruel, unforgiving words of the man he had called father because he also knew those same cruel and unforgiving words, just in a different context. Could I truly choose the path my head seemed to want me to travel down, one where in the end I may need to destroy someone I cared for even in the most minute of ways?

   As I pondered that question, a bright light appeared in the distance. I looked up to catch the tail end of the Bifróst opening.

   Strange... I thought as I watched, waiting to see if anyone exited Heimdall's observatory. Though I would never be able to tell who it was, at least I would know if the Bifróst had been utilized to send someone away or return someone home. When no one emerged, I had to calculate who could possibly be leaving and ultimately settled on one of two possibilities. With a curse, I left my room in search of Sif and the Warriors Three to rule them out and to inform them that Loki had gone off world.

          "What do you mean Loki is now the ruler of Asgard?"

   "Odin has fallen into the Odinsleep, Loki is the next successor," Hogun answered Sif's exasperated question with a soft, monotonous sigh.