Tongue Tied

Four

God, was he ever nervous. It made him feel stupid, and worse than that, pathetic, but he couldn't help it. This was the most uncharted territory the two of them would cover thus far. And worse, he'd have no escape. He liked talking to Shidou, and he liked him too, but even when they were on video calls, there was always this distance to their relationship. They hadn't actually seen each other in person since the U-20 match, and Sae just didn't know what to expect out of the visit.

He knew Shidou would be staying with him, though. And that the place the Madrid team had put him up in only had one bedroom.

But, whatever. Maybe it wasn't an issue. Shidou had once asked him if he could move in with him, hadn't he? He hadn't answered then, but from where they stood now, he didn't loathe the idea. This would just be a trial period. Or something.

People started coming out of the gates. Sae tried hard to keep himself from choking on air. A lot of good all the cardio and meditating he'd done over his life had done, he thought to himself. It was fine, this was fine, it was all going to be fine.

Shidou looked how he remembered. Insane, with his eyeliner and gelled up hair and his wide grin, but good looking all the same. He noticed Sae pretty much a second after he'd noticed him, which impressed Sae, because it was awfully crowded in the airport, and he'd made an effort to wait off to the side and out of the way.

"Fuck," Shidou said once he got into earshot. "It's really you."

"It's really me," Sae said back, hands still in his pockets, still entirely unsure of what to expect.

Shidou ditched his suitcase a few steps back so he could have both arms free to wrap them around Sae. Sae did his best to return the gesture, but Shidou was holding him pretty tightly, and he hadn't had enough time to get his hands out of his pockets. Shidou didn't seem to mind. He just held him like that, and Sae just tried to focus on his breath and keeping his head above the waters of the overwhelmingness that threatened to drown him.

After what very well might have been hours of this, Shidou pressed a kiss into the side of Sae's head, up by his temple, and said, "It's so fucking good to see you."

Sae had to be mindful not to shiver.

"You too," he managed.

Shidou let go, still grinning like a mischievous child, and grabbed his suitcase. "Okay, let's get the fuck out of here. Where do we catch a cab?"

"I have a car," Sae told him.

"I didn't know you drove," Shidou said.

"I don't," Sae said. "It's, you know, a rental. With a driver."

"Ooh, fancy," Shidou said. "Lead the way."

The car that had brought Sae to the airport was still waiting in the same spot. After loading up Shidou's suitcase, the two of them climbed into the backseat of the car. Sae didn't really think anything of it right away. It felt quiet, and kind of uncomfortable. When he looked at Shidou, he was still grinning, so he did his best to smile back.

Shidou reached an arm out across the top of the seats. "Get over here."

Sae undid his seatbelt and took the seat in the middle, closing the gap between them. Shidou didn't waste any time wrapping that arm right around Sae, his other following suit. He heard his breath close to his ear, and could have sworn Shidou just smelled him.

That's so weird, Sae tried to think, but he didn't really mind.

"You have no idea how good it is to see you," Shidou said again.

Sae didn't know what to say. I have some idea, is what came to mind, but his gut twisted horribly at the thought of actually saying that out loud. He was pretty sure he would have been able to say it through the phone or the screen, with miles and hours between them, but this felt different somehow. It felt so weird to have him actually here. Very uncharted territory indeed.

It didn't help that he didn't really get their relationship. It seemed more dating than friendship, but it's not like Sae had much experience with either. What he felt about it and Shidou in general was probably what he understood the least about it.

He found he didn't really know how to act.

"Mmm," he said, so at least Shidou would know that he heard him, that he was acknowledging it.

The rest of the ride was a quiet one. Shidou didn't say anything else, much to Sae's surprise, but he didn't let go of him either. They just rode like that in the backseat of the car, cuddled into each other like newly reunited lovers. Which, he supposed they were.

Right?

Sae had an upstairs apartment in a bright yellow heritage house. Something he learned pretty quickly was that the Spanish were super family oriented. Most of the players lived at home or with other relatives who lived in the area, and they were all horrified with the idea of the internationals staying in hotels. One of them happened to have a great aunt or second cousin with an empty apartment that they insisted he stay in, free of charge. They forced this hospitality onto all of them. He could have denied it, but once he saw the place, he kind of liked it. They even brought him homemade croquetas sometimes. All the imperfections, the chipped claw foot tub, the dusty windows, the uneven bookshelves, made it feel kind of homey. Kind of.

Shidou didn't waste any time heading towards Sae's bedroom once he'd kicked off his shoes by the front door. The bedroom was spacious, but it wasn't massive. There was enough room for Shidou's suitcase to lie on its side. Without him having to say so, that's where he parked it. He too, clearly had the idea that this is where he'd be staying.

"I don't suppose you cleared out a drawer for me," Shidou said.

"I don't have a dresser," Sae said. He knew Shidou was joking, but he was trying to save face for the fact that he hadn't thought to clear him out any room in his closet either. "It's not like you'll be here that long."

"Still would have been nice," Shidou said.

"I could figure something out," Sae started.

"I'm just fucking with you, Itoshi," Shidou said.

He let himself collapse stomach down across the bed, resting his face in his hands, kicking his feet in the air. Sae stood in the doorway, leaned against it, unsure of what to say or what to do with his hands. Shidou was kind of an overgrown child, he thought, though this was not new information. He was an endearing one though.

"This is a pretty cute place," Shidou said, plucking a piece of lint off Sae's quilt and tossing it onto the floor.

"I didn't choose it or anything," Sae told him.

It was a compliment. Shidou meant it as such and Sae knew it. Still, there was a part of him that had a knee jerk reaction and became suddenly defensive.

"I didn't say I didn't like it."

"It's close to our practice field," he continued. "I can walk there."

"Seriously?" If Shidou was catching onto Sae's uneasiness, he didn't comment on it. "Will you take me to see it? I want to see it in real life, so when I go home and you tell me stories about practice, I can picture them better."

So odd, but it made Sae smile, and he felt a little more at ease. "Sure. Let's go."