Tongue Tied

Seven

Dinner came and went and the meal was nice. Sae was pretty sure they weren't fighting anymore. But it was still weird to have someone here with him. He'd gotten used to being around other people in some proximity, but that was always done in moderation. There was always a hotel room or bedroom or car for him to slip into once he was done socializing. This was different. Not that he minded, really. But he noticed it.

Never more than when it came time to go to bed.

He came into his room, his face freshly moisturized and his night time tea freshly brewed, with a jolt of surprise to find another person there. He'd almost forgotten. Shidou was there, lying on top of the covers, his hands behind his head. Doing nothing else but lying there, as if he was waiting for him. Which he probably was.

"Hope I'm not on your side," Shidou said.

"I don't have a side," Sae said.

It was true. He'd always slept alone, and as such, usually used whatever side had the better nightside table, and often found himself more or less in the middle of the bed come morning time.

"You do now," Shidou said, patting the bed next to him. Sae took it. "So, are you a cuddler?"

Sae thought this question over. Once again, the answer, ultimately, was I don't know. But he knew it wasn't the question Shidou was actually asking, so what he answered was, "Yes."

"Oof, that's rough," Shidou said, sucking in a harsh breath. "I'm not."

Sae felt struck by this. He couldn't quite place the emotion, but he didn't like it. Why bother fucking ask then? he was ready to snap, when he heard laughter.

"I'm kidding," Shidou said, pulling him in. "It's really just too easy."

Sae let him, but he grimaced into Shdiou's chest anyways. This was the other issue about letting someone this close for this long. They started to see you. All that you were, including where to poke and prod to make you feel all types of ugly emotions. Nobody made Sae laugh easier and nobody made him feel pretty, but nobody made him feel shakier, either.

"Are you tired?" Shidou asked.

This question too, existed in the place of another one. But Sae was tired. It had been an emotionally exhausting day; quite possibly the most tiring one he'd had in a while.

"Yes," he said.

"Sleep then," Shidou said. "We've got all week."

And so he did, slipping into sleep easier than he ever had.

The afternoon and evening had been mild, but sometime over the course of the night, the heat had peaked. It sometimes did. Sae wouldn't have been bothered, or even noticed, had he not been woken up by a strange sound. When he rolled over and realized he was in bed alone, he got up and headed towards it.

He found Shidou in front of the open fridge, illuminated by its soft yellow light, fanning himself with a piece of cardboard. He had his eyes closed, and clearly hadn't noticed Sae come in.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Shit." Shidou's eyes snapped open and his head lifted. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's fine," Sae said, and he meant it. "What are you doing?"

"It's so fucking hot in here," Shidou said. "I was looking for the air conditioning."

"I don't have any," Sae said.

"I noticed." Shidou kept fanning. "And outside is worse. How the fuck do you stand it?"

"You get used to it," Sae said.

"I really didn't mean to wake you up," Shidou said.

"It's fine," Sae repeated.

"But lying next to you was so fucking hot," Shidou said. Sae felt the heat now, solely in his face. "And not in the fun way."

It made him smile. "Well, there's not much I can do about it now."

"I'm sorry," Shidou said.

"It's not a big deal," Sae said. "I'll buy an air conditioner tomorrow."

"Or at the very least a fan." Shidou said.

"Use the fridge all you want. It's not like I have any food that'll go bad," Sae offered. He motioned towards the freezer. "But there's a ton of ice packs in there. Go wild."

Shidou laughed. "I didn't even think of that."

Sae shrugged. "You're the brawn, not the brains."

"Wow." Shidou put down the cardboard and stood up. He was still smiling, some laughter coming out, entangled in his words. "I'm not sure if I should be flattered of offended."

"Probably both," Sae said.

"Yeah," Shidou agreed. He went into the freezer and grabbed one of the mouldable ice packs, shoving his entire face into it, a muffled groan coming from behind it. "That's much better."

"Good," Sae said. "You can take the bed, if you want. I'm up now."

He wasn't. But he didn't feel bad about the lie. He'd just wander around until Shidou fell asleep and then curl up on the couch.

"Nah," Shidou said, grabbing three more ice packs. "I won't put you out. This'll be fine. Let's go back to bed."

Once they were back in bed and Shidou had all the ice packs strategically placed so he was no longer on the brink of heat exhaustion, Sae felt himself just nearing the edge of sleep.

"Sae?"

Now that woke him up.

"Yeah?"

"You know how hot I find you, right?"

He couldn't help but laugh. "What?"

"Do you?" Shidou asked. "It's important that you know."

"Yeah," Sae said. "I think so."

"Because I do," Shidou confirmed. "Like, shit. When I first saw you, back when I was all restrained and stuff and you and came into the room, I was like fuck, this guy is here to kill me, and I'm just going to let him."

Sae didn't say anything. He didn't know what to say. He just kept laughing.

"So, you get it, right?"

"Yeah," Sae managed. "I think so."

"You think or you know?"

"No, I know." Sae was pretty sure, anyways. "I know."

"So you know it's not at all about you when I say." Shidou took one of the ice packs from the back of his neck and moved it to his forehead. "Don't touch me."

Even though he knew it was just the heat talking, Sae half expected his self-consciousness to spark up anyways. But it didn't. He just laughed more, until his face hurt from how long he'd spent smiling. It didn't bother him though, and he moved all the way to the edge of the bed to fall back asleep, watching Shidou press the ice pack into his forehead until he did. He was funny, and more than half decent to look at.

Sae really liked Ryusei. And he liked having him around.