Tongue Tied

Thirteen

Even though they hadn't acknowledged it as such, walking home felt like starting over. Which Sae was at least committed to trying.

When Ryusei grabbed his hand, he didn't flinch away from it, though he was still a little on edge and had very much wanted to. After a while, he relaxed. He felt the skin against his palm, how it cradled his own hand, and tried to lean into it. It wasn't as difficult as he'd imagined it would have been.

Sae had tidied up in his pout and panic, so there was no evidence of the chaos that had entrapped them when they'd left. Separately. The apartment happily welcomed them, as if there were no hard feelings, as if the two of them walking in together was the most natural thing in the world.

You could feel the cold air of the AC unit seeping out of the bedroom as soon as you walked in the door, but the evening heat had barely let up, so they moved into the bedroom again. Ryusei especially, leaned right down and crouched in front of it, letting the cold air blow right into his face and gently blow what stray pieces of pink and blonde had fallen out of their gel prison.

As he was wrapped up in this task, Sae found himself in the doorway, admiring the sight. He looked a little like a dog with his head out the window, eyes closed, mouth on the verge of a deep sigh of satisfaction, but it was endearing nonetheless.

Ryusei opened his eyes and turned over his shoulder, grinning. "Want some?"

Sae didn't move. He just stayed in the doorway, arms crossed, leaning to one side. "Some what?"

"Cold air," Ryusei said, shuffling over slightly.

Sae's brows furrowed just a fraction. He was about to answer, no, that's fucking stupid, because the room was plenty cold, and he didn't even really mind the heat, he'd bought the damn thing for him, and he couldn't imagine that was very good for his skin. But then he didn't say any of that and stopped indulging this course of reasoning. He would try to be a good sport. He would try.

He shrugged and walked over, taking the spot Ryusei had left for him, pressing his knee into the same imprint in the carpet that he had left.

He let the cold air blow in his face a little while, trying not to think too much about how it was almost uncomfortably cold at this proximity and how it was definitely not great for his skin, he'd have to moisturize before he went to sleep, but Ryusei looked so happy to be able to share something with him, and he decided that was the point of the whole ordeal and that it was worth it.

"Thanks for coming after me," Ryusei said after some time.

Softly. Not necessarily in tone, but in volume. So softly, that Sae barely heard it over the hum of the air conditioner.

He was irritated by this too, and about to ask what else he expected him to do, but he didn't get the chance. Ryusei sighed. "I'm sorry I talked to Rin about you."

That banished the irritation shockingly quickly.

"I'm not as bad as Rin thinks I am," Sae said.

Ryusei opened his mouth slightly, like he was about to say something, but then closed it, as if thinking better of it. Still, as if by divine providence or one of the universe's cruel jokes, he heard it anyways. You're not as innocent as you think yourself, either.

He had a point. So long as he didn't have to hear it or say it out loud, he could acknowledge that was true. He didn't like being confronted with his flaws, but he knew he had them. He appreciated not having to hear it. He appreciated Ryusei not saying it.

Instead, he said, "I know." Which was true enough.

"Thanks for coming," Sae said.

This rivalled Ryusei's softness, and he was almost sure he'd be asked to repeat it, but then he just grinned, like he'd both heard and understood everything he meant by it.