Tongue Tied

Nine

The apartment Sae had been given to use came with patio furniture, but he'd never used it before. Ryusei gave him a hard time about it before taking a wet cloth to it and wiping off all the dust that had accumulated during his time there. Sae tried to recall if it had been clean when he moved in, but he couldn't remember. It must have been, he decided. That was just the kind of people his hosts were.

And that's where they ate dinner. Ryusei's meal, Ryusei's idea. Sae was grateful for it. He never thought to do these things by himself. He ate in his living room while he responded to emails or watched whatever he felt like. Occasionally, he ate at a restaurant instead of taking food home or ordering in and if he really felt like treating himself, sometimes he drank a smoothie or ate a wrap while he walked home.

Eating a homemade meal with another person without any distractions was very foreign to him. It was a lot harder to eat when he was being so mindful about it.

When Ryusei was done, he pushed his bowl away and leaned back in his patio chair. He leaned his head up and closed his eyes, letting the last of the evening sun bask over him for a while before he opened his eyes again and looked down at the view off the patio. Not that Sae really had much of one. You could see the back alley that ran behind the house. The garage and the parked cars. The apartment complex on the other side. You could hear the commotion from the main street, but that's it.

"You get one hell of a sunset here, hey?" Ryusei asked him.

Sae looked up, as if he was noticing for the very first time.

Which he was. He'd never been out here and watched the sun sink down into the horizon, because what would be the point? He was aware that sunset was something that happened. He was often running when it did, and used it as a precursor to go home. When he was home, he recognized it based on how it flooded the kitchen with that thick, orange light before it faded to peach. The patio did have a decent view of the sunset, he supposed.

Ryusei got up from his chair and went over to the other end of the patio, leaning his elbows on the ledge. He watched it for a little while before turning back to Sae.

"You done?" he asked. Sae nodded. "Come here, then."

"Why?" Sae asked.

It was weird. He knew he was being weird. But he couldn't help it. A sunset was pretty romantic, and it was some type of gesture pointing it out, wasn't it?

Ryusei gave him a look that told him they were both aware of how weird he was being before he said, "I want to reenact the scene from Titanic."

Sae figured he was joking. He still didn't move. "The boat?"

"The movie," Ryusei said, his grin not disappearing but becoming more uncertain. "You know. Jack and Rose? King of the world?"

"I haven't seen it," Sae said.

"You haven't seen Titanic?" Ryusei said, shaking his head. "Well, that's a dealbreaker."

Whatever anxiety had been slowly growing is Sae exploded. "What do you mean?"

"I'm kidding," Ryusei told him. "What are you being so weird for? Come here."

"No," Sae said. "Tell me what you're going to do first."

"I want to kiss you, genius." Ryusei said, confirming Sae's suspicions. "Now would you get over here, already?"

"No."

It came out so quick and so harsh. Sae knew what'd he'd said, what he'd done by saying it. Ryusei's smile dropping was just salt in the wound.

"It's not because I don't want to," Sae said.