Tongue Tied

Five

The field was close enough to walk to and the sun was forgiving enough that they didn't need jackets. The entire street was bright and smelled like food in a loud, aggressive manner that Sae had also come to find endearing over his time here. It also made him starkly aware that the two of them would probably need to eat pretty soon, and it kind of worried him. Was Shidou easygoing about food? What did he like? Had food even come up during their phone calls over the past few months? Surely it must have. It was such a basic topic of conversation. But he couldn't bring a single image to mind.

It's not really the food he was worried about. He wasn't used to having to consider another person in his day to day life.

Or, was he?

He had spent an awful lot of time thinking about Shidou over the past couple months. Arranging his eating and sleeping schedules around when they might have time to talk, pushing back and sneaking in bouts of both to make it work. It might have felt different, him actually being here now, but it wasn't, really. Plus, it's not like he couldn't use his words if he could manage to swallow the pride it would take to do so.

This whole thing was throwing him off.

Shidou suddenly made a sound that sounded like he was a toddler pouting. Sae broke out of his head, turning towards him, wondering what had him so displeased so early in his visit, but he found he was still smiling. He was just holding his hand out at his side, fingers outstretched, looking at Sae's.

There was a relief that came with the realization, and he took it. This too, was weird. But not the kind of weird that made him want to pull away. Shidou kept grinning at him, squeezing his hand, and Sae did his best to return both gestures, trying not to judge himself for how both attempts were shaky at best.

Even though they'd been told the practice field would be open for them to use whenever they wanted, Sae hadn't expected anyone to actually be there. His anxiety and annoyance sparked a little when he saw that the person who happened to be utilizing it was none other than Suarez. Sae was tempted to grimace and turn them right around. Surely Shidou would understand. He'd been the one to peg him for hating Suarez in the first place. But he caught sight of the two of them before Sae got the chance.

"Sae!" He yelled out, abandoning his practice and jogging over to them.

"Sae?" Shidou questioned. "Why the hell does he call you Sae and I can't?"

"They use first names here," Sae answered, dropping Shidou's hand, for no reason other than he didn't care to explain it. He then added, "And I never said you couldn't."

"I didn't know you were sticking around over the break," Suarez said to Sae when he reached them.

"It's not really any of your business what I do with my break," Sae said back.

"And you're Ryusei Shidou, right?" Suarez asked him directly, despite the language barrier. "I'm Izan Suarez. It's cool to meet you, man. You were good in that game you two played a couple months back."

Shidou crossed his arms, understanding nothing but their names. "What'd he say?"

That Shidou didn't speak Spanish and Suarez didn't speak Japanese and therefore couldn't communicate, Sae considered nothing short of a miracle.

"He said he's a fucking loser that sucks at soccer," Sae said back.

Shidou snorted. "Tell him he'd better bring his skill up to a level worthy of being on a team with you or I'll kick his ass."

"He says thanks," Sae told Suarez. "We're gonna go."

"Aw, that's a shame," Suarez said.

"Not really," Sae said.

"If you guys ever want to train together," Suarez said, "Just let me know."

"Don't wait around or anything," Sae said.

"I didn't know you two kept in contact," Suarez said next, just as Sae was turning to leave. He was motioning to the two of them, and despite Spanish, Sae was sure this was an obvious enough gesture. "Are you two, like, together?"

"That's not really any of your business either," Sae said.

He didn't mean to, but he shrugged a bit when he said this. Although unintentional, he supposed it was fitting, because his answer really existed in the place of good question.

"Okay, buddy," Suarez said with a nod. "Good luck with that. I'll catch you later."

Sae took Shidou around the practice field and the arena that housed it, quickly but thoroughly, keeping his hands in the pockets of his joggers for the entirety of the tour. They didn't talk much during, and Shidou waited until they were back on the street to talk to him for real.

"So, what was that all about?" Shidou asked before tacking on a drawn out, "Saeeeeee?"

"What was what all about?" Sae asked back. "Ryuseiiiiiiiii?"

"First of all, if you're trying to distract me with how fucking delicious it sounds to have you say my name," Shidou said. "It's working."

"I'm not," Sae said. But he kind of was.

"I meant back there with Suarez," Shidou said.

"Nothing," Sae answered.

"Really?" Shidou was putting on a look of fake consideration before he shot Sae a look of harsh disbelief. "Because it kind of looked like he asked what was going on between us, and you effectively said, eh?"

Shidou shrugged dramatically for full effect.

"What I said was that it's none of his business," Sae said, not bothering to lie. Not blatantly, anyways. "Which it isn't."

"If it was his business," Shidou started. "What would you have said?"

"It's nobody's business," Sae said. "So, that's what I would have said."

They walked another block in silence.

"What is going on between us, Itoshi?"

"Wow," Sae said. "We're back to Itoshi?"

"Answer the question."

"You tell me."

Sae looked him head on now, finding none of the silence nor the overwhelming feeling came on when he did. The thought that Shidou might be just as confused as he was about their relationship and might also be waiting for confirmation never crossed his mind. Instead, he felt they were trapped in some type of match that he refused to lose.

"Oh," Shidou said. "So, you're playing that game."

He was.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Sae said.

He did.

Neither of them said anything else on the walk back, and there was no more hand holding.