SOUR , m. sturniolo ✓

ii. drivers license

matt,

i got my drivers license last week.

i know we've been waiting for this day to come. 

but that was before you left. before you started going out with her.

today i drove around town alone, crying, because how could i ever love someone as much as i loved you???? we weren't perfect. we were far from it. we had our ups, our downs. but i never loved anyone more. and i thought you loved me just as much.

oh, how wrong i was. 

you seem to be doing just perfectly fine without me. even though, i'm a fucking wreck without you. everyone's so annoyed with me, including your brothers. they tell me to shut up and not remind them of how stupid you are. 

but they don't get it. even chris and nick don't get it. they didn't know you like i did. they never will. they knew you like a brother. i knew you like matt. my matt. my boyfriend. the love of my life.

today i drove around town alone, crying, and imagined you were with me. just like we used to talk about. i still see your face everywhere. i hear your voice everywhere. i can't drive past the places we used to go through.

because i just can't get over you. no matter how hard try.

because i still fucking love you, matt. i love you with every bone in my body. and i don't think i will ever stop.

you promised me forever. but now i drive through town without you by my side. 

and i hate it.

from, 

celeste.