Love, life, and everything in between.

Mania

I find myself going back to old ways or old habits.
Just to feel something.
My breath slows down.
Gravity feels heavier on my body.
I can feel the weight of things stronger than I did before.
I can't sleep.
Eating feels stupid when my stomach is already full.
My heart has that sinking sensation.
It feels like a bottomless pit again.
There's an empty void in my chest that's the size of Texas.
A dark hole and I can't seem to crawl my way out of.
Routines feel pointless.
Life doesn't feel full to me.
Something is missing.
Maybe it's me.
I've lost my spark for life.
I find myself irritable and being frustrated easily again.
I hate being like this.
I don't want to go back there again.
Slumber is my lover and the bed is my best friend.
They say death feels like a warm, long, and loving hug.
And boy,
am I touch deprived.