You're Mine

22: Unaccepted Apologies

Zander's Perspective:

My alarm sounded at 11:30am and I silenced it immediately. My beautiful mate hadn't woken up yet and I savored the moment to admire her as she slept peacefully. The idea of waking up to her everyday for the rest of my life felt like a dream I never wanted to wake up from. I let my thumb brush across her beautiful lips. Everything about her drew me in but I couldn't bring myself to wake her from her peaceful sleep.

For a moment I thought about the complexity of her as a woman. She watched her mother go through a season of feeling intensely suicidal, experienced her own bouts with depression, and spent so long comparing herself and being compared to her mother, who she loved and cherished so deeply. Then I began to wonder about the troubles she went through with her father's new family. I knew that there was some trauma there, but she had yet to disclose it to me fully. Her stepmother despised her for looking and acting so much like her mother and her stepbrothers changed her view of men in a way I couldn't understand yet. But despite all of it, she stayed true to herself. She remained bubbly, social, creative, and compassionate even though she had been through so many scenarios where people tried to strip her of the very things that made her who she was. I was so grateful in that moment to know Rose so intimately. I hoped to continue growing closer to her everyday for the rest of my life.

Then I remembered her ring in the glove box of my truck. I had imagined her wearing it since the moment I bought it. I truly thought that stepping into marriage so soon would've been scary for her and I fully anticipated having to wait for her to be ready. But she was right, our love was so strong and our commitment overpowered any societal timeline. I imagined watching her walk down the aisle to to me and kissing her in front of the entire pack. I wanted nothing more than to show everyone we knew that we were in this for life. Our friends and family knew already how strong our connection was and my parents seemed to really see and appreciate the change in me that Rose caused. I uncovered a new purpose for my life in my role to protect her and it made me more connected to her, to myself, and to the pack. She brought out all of the best features of me.

I rubbed my hand across her jaw and admired the shape of her face. She was so beautiful and I couldn't find a single thing I would change about her. I ran my hand down her side and found her hip before pulling her closer to me. The war inside me between my desire to look at her and my desire to feel every inch of her left me frozen until her phone started to ring. Her eyes fluttered open and she reached over to look at her screen.

"Oh my gosh, its Ana," she said sleepily. "I have to take this, babe, I'm sorry I'll only be a second," she said to me. 

"Take your time, my love," I replied while gently brushing her hair behind her ear. I was glad she was reconnecting with her best friend from home. I hoped that she would be able to hold onto any pieces of humanity that she desired.

Rose answered the phone but remained in bed. She knew I could hear their entire conversation, and remained with me anyways.

"Ana, hi! How are you?"

"I'm good! How are you? Are you busy?"

"No, I'm doing great. Just waking up actually, had a bit of a late night last night," Rose responded.

"Oh, after graduation, I bet you did. I'm so glad you're doing okay. You haven't answered my texts all week, I was starting to get nervous," Ana said and Rose looked at me with a smile.

"I am so sorry, Ana. I've been so distracted with graduation, and Mom, and Zander," she said with a smirk.

"I'm so glad to hear that! I was beginning to wonder if something happened. I know with graduation and stuff, that can all be tricky. Evan and I kind of decided to slow things down. We both just have such different plans after graduation."