You're Mine

7: Impractical Advice

Christian's POV

I whipped my chrome colored Dodge Charger into the student parking lot and nonchalantly maneuvered my way into my typical parking spot. With Sapphire riding shotgun, it was difficult to collect my thoughts because she could tell something was not right.

"What's the matter, Christian? You haven't said a word to me since I got in the car. If you didn't want to bring me, you should've just said something and I could've driven. Honestly, I didn't realize it was that big of a deal," she started. This was one of those moments that I was blown away by how horrible my sisters were at reading me considering how similar we were.

"It's not that, Sapphire."
"Ooo, 'Sapphire'. You're definitely mad at me," she returned quickly.

"Sapph, I'm not mad at you; I promise. It's actually been a little more comforting having you in the same space this morning. I just have a lot going on," I said without relaxing my stiffened spine or removing my clenched fists that had gripped the wheel the entire car ride.

"Oh my gosh, is everything okay? Is it something with your wolf?" she was suddenly genuinely concerned as she recognized my tense features.

"Honestly, I don't know. He hasn't communicated with me and I haven't tried to shift yet today," I explained. I knew it had to be in connection with Rose. I called her twice last night to find no answer each time.

"Christian, answer me honestly. Did you meet your mate?" she asked.

"I don't know. I mean, I don't think so."

"Look, we have some time before class, go ahead and talk to me about it because it might make you feel better," she said. I was so grateful for Sapphire. She was like a more loving and more approachable version of Zander that always supported me. I never felt judgement from her so it was easy to open up. She was also very knowledgeable and intuitive, I thought maybe she could help me figure everything out.

"Okay... I just don't know how to say it," I began. But she looked at me with those inquisitive eyes, urging me to continue with her slight head nod. "I thought that maybe I was imprinting on Rose, the new girl," I told her, describing the feelings I had upon first seeing Rose as the beginning of the mating process because that's what I had believed it was. "I was so drawn to her; she's gorgeous, and when she spoke to me it was like a sound that I could hear for the rest of my life. The entire time I was with her, no one else even crossed my mind, not you guys, not Ashley, not friends, not the pack, no one. We flirted back and forth and I know that my wolf had to have felt a connection, but I never had that feeling that everyone talks about or that Mom and Dad said would happen. There was never a time when my wolf directly said to me 'she is yours, this is your mate' or anything obvious like that, so I tried to brush it off. But Sapph, it was impossible. I couldn't stop thinking about her. I even tried to force Ashley into my mind and the entire time I kissed her, I imagined it was Rose... So I told Ashley I had to end it, and it didn't even hurt me, I felt completely unbothered by the fact that I left the girl I thought I loved," I told her. "But I had to. It wasn't fair because I felt such a strong desire to pursue Rose, it was like I felt safe and complete in her presence. But I don't understand how she could not be my mate if she caused all of that," I explained as I let out a big sigh at the end. My brain was bouncing with thoughts of her, both comforting and discomforting.

"Oh my gosh... I'm so sorry, Christian. I wish I knew what that meant so that I could ease your mind. My best advice would probably be to try to listen to your wolf. See what happens as you get closer and farther from her. Just experiment a little bit. Maybe she isn't your mate, maybe she's just a girl that you love or that makes you feel more yourself," she said comfortingly.

I thought about it until the clock changed to 7:30 and Sapphire opened her car door. Maybe she wasn't my mate, but it didn't stop me from day-dreaming about if she was. I imagined myself marking her, bringing her into my world. From what I knew about her so far it seemed like she could handle it, learning our secrets and accepting them as she accepted me. I imagined introducing her to my parents and how proud they would be that I found the human who could handle the reality of our family. She could fit into my life, I knew it. Her humanness was no hindrance at all.